Okay - on to the doctors appointments we had today ....
Appointment with Dr. Videlefsky - Pediatric Cardiologist
I was hoping that this appointment would be able to answer all of our questions and give us some peace of mind - and I really have been thinking that about every appointment we have had. Unfortunately, the 'answer' still stands as "it depends". This was our follow-up appointment with Dr. V and I really wanted to get an update on baby Murphy's condition and see if they could tell us anything else but we didn't really get an update. One praise from this appointment - the dilation of the pulmonary arteries had not increased significantly so everything is still looking the same! Dr. V explained that the swelling of the pulmonary arteries are the main concern and he feels it is significant. He also explained the outcome after birth could really go either way, in regards to having surgery earlier or having surgery later, because it is all dependent on how the airways are affected. We asked if there would be a better indication or general idea of how affected they would be prior to birth, but Dr. V explained that they just won't know until birth - you know, 'it depends'. He was really great to answer all of our questions and explain everything to where we could understand what he was talking about. I expressed my concerns of taking the baby home before surgery, but he assured me that they would never send a baby home they had any concerns about, and they would be preparing me and explaining everything if he was able to go home before surgery.
We don't go back to see him for another 6 weeks - and they will check again to see how everything looks. They did comment that the heart was functioning great and the flow of blood was good! (Another praise - I'll take as many as I can get!). I wish we could go back sooner to get an update, but I know there really isn't much they can do and it is better for him to 'stay put' for as long as possible. I'm not really too sure how I feel still - I told my mom that I kind of felt like I will just prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. My mindset has always been to "prepare" for most anything in life - and it is becoming clear that I really just cannot prepare for this, other than trusting that God will carry us through all of it. I trust that God has a plan, as I have said before, and I am trying to let go of the notion that I need to know what it is - He is in control, and whatever happens I will be praising Him. Praising Him for baby Murphy. Praising Him for the little blessings. Praising Him for wrapping His arms of protection around us.
Appointment with Dr. Pohl
Dr. Pohl is my regular OB, and it was at his office that the technician first spotted something wrong with baby Murphy's heart. My appointment today was the first with him since all of the other appointments - and I also had my gestational diabetes test, where I had to drink the dreaded glucose drink. I was told by almost all of my friends to get the orange, but at my last appointment they handed me the red without a choice! Probably the most disgusting drink I have ever tasted - it was literally like cold melted sugar, BLEH! (Funny story: My mom brought a cooler to keep it cold during the first appointment. She had to carry it through the building and said someone asked her where she was headed. She responded "the pediatric cardiologist" and I'm sure they were wondering what the heck was in that cooler! HA!) I drank this an hour before the appointment and then they drew my blood and sent it off to get results. No news is good news, so if I haven't heard anything by Tuesday I am in the clear! I think I have said this before but I am not worried I will not pass it, but prayers are always appreciated that Tuesday will come and go with no phone call! I also had to be weighed - and so far have only gained 8 pounds! I lost a lot in the beginning from being so sick, but they said everything looks good and I am glad I haven't gained an exuberant amount of weight! After all of that was over we were able to meet with Dr. Pohl - he has been really great so far too! Baby Murphy is measuring right on track and we will meet with Dr. Pohl again in 4 weeks to just do the general check-up.
We asked about my due date and what the likelihood of being induced was and he said that he will be inducing me the week before my due date! There are a few risks associated with going past my due date and inducing me allows them to have a better of idea when the baby will be born and allow all doctors and nurses to be alerted that will need to be there - this gives me some peace of mind! I am also glad that I will be able to "prepare" for the hospital and won't be having to sit around and wait to go in to labor and it be a surprise.The wanting to be prepared side of me is extremely, extremely grateful for this.
Reflection
I really wish that I could change everything and make everything okay for my baby - but I can't and that is so hard for me. I am constantly wondering if he will be scared or if he will wonder why all this is happening, and I wish I could take it away for him, but I can't. I know all of the doctors/nurses/surgeons are great at what they do so I trust them, but it doesn't make it any easier. I also wish so bad that I knew all that would happen after birth, but I will be going in not really knowing anything - expecting the worse and hoping for the best. Regardless, God is in control and is going to take care of us throughout whatever may come. The song "One Thing Remains" is my latest favorite this week, and it is on the radio almost every time I turn it on :) Check it out if you get a chance! I still have my doubts and worries and fears, but time is making it easier to be able to trust God fully.
Now - how about some fun facts :)
How far along? 24 weeks 3 days
Sleep? I may be get two good hours before I wake up to get comfortable/go to the bathroom - ah, the fun begins.
Movement? TONS! Today during the appointment with Dr. V the technician could hardly get him to calm down to get a good picture of his heart! (If he is anything like his mom, he was probably just trying to be stubborn)
Favorite Moment this week? I was able to go to dinner with a friend that I haven't seen in too long. She made two little onsies with bowties and a blanket for baby Murphy! Thank you Brittany - I love them and so will he :)
Cravings? Oranges. Cupcakes. Strawberries. Bacon. I loved bacon before getting pregnant - but know I REALLY love it!
Symptoms? Leg and foot cramps. Back Pain. The leg cramps are the worst and hit at the most inopportune time - like 2 AM when I have just fallen asleep :/ BUT, these are all side effects of this pregnancy in which is SUCH a blessing - so I will take them!
Looking forward to? Josh and my dad are painting the nursery this weekend! Once everything is done and set up I will post pictures for all of you!
Specific Prayer Requests
- Please pray that the dilation in the pulmonary arteries stays the same.
- Pray for our appointment with Maternal-Fetal Specialists next Thursday. I am not sure what all they are going to be following up on, but I will be sure and update :)
- Pray for peace for Josh and I. A lot of things are still unknown and we really won't get answers until baby Murphy is born which is sometimes hard to deal with.
- Please pray for my friend Lacy, and her husband Anthony and baby Josiah. Baby Josiah had his first surgery today. Pray for a good recovery for baby Josiah and peace of mind for Lacy and Anthony.
Thank you for your continued prayers, support, and love. We love you all and are SO thankful for all the prayer warriors in our life! As always - feel free to share my blog with anyone you know may be interested or be praying for us - I certainly do not mind!
"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I
will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand"
Isaiah 41:10
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble"
Psalm 46:1
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