fetal MRI & final NST appointment!

Lately my amount of sleep has totaled about 45 minutes to an hour at a time and I never feel well rested when waking up in the morning. Between having to get up to use the restroom or having to turn over because I am so uncomfortable, sleep is a distant memory. Most people say "oh, it is just preparing you for life with a newborn!" To be honest, I really don't feel that way. I would MUCH rather be waking up to my sweet baby boy than to be woken up because I cannot breath or have intense pain in my side or back. I say all that to say this - getting up at 5 AM this morning to head to Atlanta was much harder than I thought it would be since I can't really sleep anymore. I convinced Josh to stop and get me a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast and that seemed to help a little! We were supposed to arrive by 6 AM and luckily the registration process was quick and we made our way down to the MRI department before 6:30 AM! Once I got changed the doctors came in to review the process and tell me what they would be looking for in the images. I was under the impression that they wouldn't review what they found, but they indicated they would come talk to us after it was all over. Thank goodness for this because I really don't think I could wait too long for the results from the high-risk doctor.

When we were up in Cincinnati the MRI lasted about an hour and towards the end I was pretty uncomfortable. I was also no where near the size I am now... Due to the extra amniotic fluid it can make it pretty hard to breath and I can't really lay on my back at all. During this MRI they wanted me to lay on my back and said it would only last about 20 minutes. I felt confident that I could make it through the whole thing but little did I know it would actually last 45 minutes and I would be getting contractions the whole time that made it even harder to breath! Baby M moved around a bunch so they had to keep trying to take different pictures. Luckily they did and were able to come in the room shortly after to discuss the pictures and what they found. They told us that the trachea appeared patent (no constrictions!) and that the lungs looked hyperechogenic. We already knew this as well though because of the dilation of the pulmonary artery pressing down on the bronchi. They gave us a copy of the images and told us they would send the report over to maternal-fetal specialists. 

Dr. Eller called me about 10 AM to discuss the results and let me know what they thought. He was very reassuring that a vaginal delivery would be fine and that the MRI didn't show anything other than what they had expected. The main concern for the MRI was that the trachea may be compressed or constricted and they wouldn't be able to intubate if needed, but that will not be a problem! This was very reassuring to hear and made my decision of vaginal versus cesarean delivery an easy choice.

NST Appointment with Dr. Pohl 

Baby Murphy wouldn't sit still during MRI but of course he decided to take a nap during the NST this afternoon! He eventually woke up and we were able to get off the monitor and get ready to meet with Dr. Pohl. I mentioned at my last appointment the concern that he expressed about a vaginal delivery so naturally one of his first questions was about what decision I had made. I told him we had decided to go with induction and try things naturally. He didn't really say much and measured my fundal height - which is STILL 46 cm! He then checked to see if I am dilated, which I am 1-1/2 cm and 50% effaced. This does not really mean anything other than he was feeling better about the induction. For a while he thought that my cervix may put up a good fight and make the labor much longer than it needed to be for his comfort level. We scheduled induction for next Tuesday! I am so excited (and very nervous) to meet our little man! It is hard to believe that time is really so close, and it is definitely the FINAL COUNTDOWN! We have one more appointment with Maternal-Fetal Friday so I will probably update after that and then the next time you will hear from me will probably be once we are in the hospital or after baby M has made his grand appearance!

Pray for peace over the coming week.
Pray for wisdom over the doctors and nurses that will be involved in the delivery of baby M.
Pray for Josh and I, that we will lean on God and His comfort through these upcoming changes.

Love,
Ashlyn

decisions, decisions - week 36!

Hard to believe that as I write this blog post we are only 10 days away from meeting baby Murphy! This is also one of my last posts before he gets here - time sure does fly. It has been a struggle to try and sort out all of my emotions because I really just don't even know what to think or how to feel. I, of course, am extremely excited to meet our little man, but that is coupled with the natural fear that having a baby brings along with all of our fear of the unknown. As the days countdown the fear and excitement are growing and it is a strange combination of both! This past week was pretty relaxing and I was able to spend some time getting things done and preparing for baby Murphy! Here is the run-down of what happened over the last week:

Saturday, April 20 - Baby Shower #3!

This past Saturday we were blessed with yet another baby shower for baby Murphy :) The theme was "safari" (how fitting)! Here are some pictures from the day:

check out the GIANT giraffe in the back :)

Heather & Laura (Josh's Sisters)

Josh's Mom, Marla!

My Mom!

Tuesday, April 23 - NST Appointment with Dr. Pohl
   Baby Murphy decided to take a little nap during the monitoring of the NST so he had to be buzzed a few times to try and wake him up! Not sure where he gets his sleeping habits from ;) Luckily he woke up and started moving around and we were able to continue on with our appointment. Dr. Pohl came in and measured my fundal height - which is now 46 (10 WEEKS AHEAD....), and then he sat down to discuss delivery options. He had the report on how much baby M weighed from last Friday and he also had the most recent reports from Dr. V. His main concern is that a vaginal delivery may stress the baby out too much and with the already existing heart condition that really worries him so he somewhat recommended we consider a cesarean delivery, but the decision is up to us. I am definitely torn because I want to do what is best for my baby and I have two different recommendations from two different doctors. Dr. V (the cardiologist) says vaginal, and it really seems like Dr. Pohl is pushing for a c-section. I left the appointment VERY confused on what to do....
    Luckily, Dr. V's office is right across the hall from Dr. Pohl's office so my mom and I headed there after our appointment to get the reasoning from him on why a vaginal delivery would be better or what his recommendation is for me. He did confirm that the thinks this would be best and it mainly has to do with the fact that the fluid will be squeezed out of baby Murphy's lungs in a vaginal delivery and that won't really happen with a c-section. Right now we are leaning towards the vaginal delivery, but I really hate that I have two different doctors recommending two different things and the decision is in our hands. I am hoping that the MRI next week will give us a clearer answer of what we should do, but I doubt that will happen. I do know that I will be CLOSELY monitored during labor and if the baby shows any signs of stress they will do an emergency c-section. Please pray that Josh and I have some peace about the decision we have to make regarding delivery.

Friday - April 26 - BPP with Maternal-Fetal
   Friday was my 22nd birthday, and luckily I got to spend it at the doctor! I did, however, take the staff some Krispy Kreme doughnuts :) The BPP went great and my amniotic fluid levels were about the same as last week. Normally they do two measurements and take the average to be a little bit more accurate, but this week she only took one. She also gave us LOTS of 3D pictures partly because it was my birthday but also because since I have so much fluid they are able to get really good pictures so they can't resist... LOL. We met with Dr. Read after the ultrasound tech was done with the BPP and I asked his opinion on the delivery. I should have know he would say something like "Well, I don't have a recommendation either way...", and that is exactly what he said! I was kind of hoping he would be the tie breaker. We also asked about the MRI and when they would expect the results (he said Thursday) and also what the verdict would be based on the results. He said that they don't think it will show anything that requires me to go to the hospital immediately for delivery, but they are just trying to get a better picture of if the airways are affected and they will make more decisions based on what the findings show. 

The fetal MRI is scheduled for next Tuesday, the 29th and we have to be at Egleston at 6 AM.  We also have another NST and BPP (our last two appointments before baby M gets here)! Please pray that the results of the MRI are clear and there are no red flags. Also be in prayer that Josh and I feel peace about the decision we make for delivery. Time is getting so close and we are excited to introduce baby M to the world, and also share his name :)

Love,
Ashlyn

too much fluid?

This week we had just two appointments (as opposed to the three from last week!). We met with Dr. Pohl on Tuesday and also Maternal-Fetal Specialists today. On Tuesday I was officially 35 weeks which means we are getting so close!

Tuesday, April 16 - Dr. Pohl Appointment (NST Test)
   I halfway went in to this appointment expecting that baby M would be still as could be and need to be "buzzed" a few times. I did, however, drink a glass of orange juice before the appointment to try and encourage him to be more active! Apparently it worked and he didn't even have to be buzzed once. We then met with Dr. Pohl so he could measure my fundal height and check my cervix. My fundal height is now 44 (9 weeks ahead) and up 2 cm from last week! Josh took a guess that it might be 45 so he was pretty close, but good grief that seems like quite a lot. For the most part it was staying steady at about 7 weeks ahead and has taken quite the jump the past two weeks. My cervix is still closed but Dr. Pohl still thinks I may go in to labor before May 6/7 - but we would really prefer that does not happen! I go back next week, as always, so we will see if it has jumped anymore or continued to be the same 'distance' ahead.

Friday, April 19 - Maternal-Fetal Appointment (BPP Test) 
   Josh was able to go to the appointment with me today for the first time in quite a while! My mom broke her foot last Friday and had a minor surgery today to fix it, but it was scheduled at the same time as my appointment. (She is out of surgery and doing fine!). At the start of every appointment I always meet with a nurse and they check my 'vitals' - blood pressure, temp, weight, and ask a few questions. This is normally routine but this time the nurse said - "We thought you had already had the baby and had taken your chart apart!". Um, excuse me? I wanted to say "Who would have told you that? And, don't you think I wouldn't be coming in for an appointment?" I chose not to say anything other than "Nope! Still very pregnant." That was so weird - and I am still confused as to where they are getting their information from....
    After that was over we were taken back with the ultrasound technician to do the BPP and growth scan! We did have an impromptu growth scan last week, but they didn't keep that in my chart since it was a week early. Baby M is still measuring at about 7 pounds 2 ounces (he was roughly 7 pounds 6 ounces last week) so this was good to hear! The growth scans can be off by a pound or so and they told us not to be concerned if the number was a little lower this week... we weren't! She also did the BPP and everything looked good with baby M and he was practicing breathing and hardly sitting still. She checked my amniotic fluid levels and they had gone up again - to around 36-37 (she took two measurements, one was 39 and then one was 33). For a while they had stayed the same around 26-27 but recently they have been increasing. I asked if this was normal and she said "well, usually towards the end of pregnancy the levels actually go down". I know we aren't the 'usual' so I take that with a grain of salt. I also asked about the risk of cord prolapse (you can read about that here) but she wasn't too sure and wanted to ask the nurse practitioner about it. She left the room and we waited for either the doctor (Dr. Eller was in the office today) or the nurse practitioner.  
   Dr. Eller didn't see us, but instead we met with the nurse practitioner. I can't remember her name to save my life but we have seen her before and she is really nice so it was good to see her again. She said that she had just spoken with Dr. Eller and they really want me to have another fetal MRI. (insert awkward silence here) I was totally taken by surprise because I didn't see that coming. She said that the extra amniotic fluid increasing regularly was an indicator that there MIGHT be an issue with his airways. They know it isn't a swallowing issue or kidney issue because both of those look fine, so that just leaves the airways. When we went to Cincinnati we had a fetal MRI to check and make sure an actual airway existed (and it did) but this second MRI can show if it is more constricted. The trachea is a soft tissue so in the two months (can you believe it has been that long? I surely can't) that it has been since the last MRI things could have changed, or they could not have. They want us to do this again because they want to have the BEST plan in place for when he makes his arrival. I totally agree, and I would much rather them be safe than sorry when it comes to our baby. She did say that they didn't really have any predictions but because the fluid level is increasing they want to do this as a precaution to either be prepared if it is constricted or rule it out as a possibility. 
   I know people will ask "What will they do if it is constricted" and right now I don't have an answer for you. I am in a very different place than I was two months ago and feel calm about their suggestion. I remember two months ago when we first got wind of the issue with his lungs and I freaked out and asked a mountain of questions. Today, I didn't ask any. The reason for this is that I can't change the outcome and I would rather wait until after the MRI and cross that bridge if we need to but there really is no sense in freaking out about something that hasn't even happened yet. If there is one thing I have learned so far in this process is that I can't have expectations. I just have to trust that God has a plan and His plan is being fulfilled by whatever outcome the situation may bring, including this upcoming MRI.

   With all that being said we ask that you pray for the MRI (it hasn't been scheduled yet, but I will know Monday) and that they get clear pictures and are able to tell us a SOLID answer one way or the other. I am definitely not a fan of wishy-washy answers, and a clear answer would be best so the doctors and staff delivering baby M will be well-prepared. Please also be in prayer that baby M will stay put until AFTER the MRI. I would much rather know if there is something to deal with before he gets here! I don't like the fact that we were SO close to the finish line and have yet another hurdle jump, but I would much rather know more about what we are dealing with before he gets here! I wish we could have gotten some 3D pictures today but unfortunately he just wouldn't move his hands at all! Thank you for the continued prayers - we really are in the homestretch now! 

Love,
Ashlyn

"life in review" and FAQ's

I realize that over the past few months we have several new followers that may have started reading our journey in the middle and may not be too sure of what all is going on or has gone on in the past to lead us to where were are today. This is the main reason for this post, and also to write out answers to some very popular questions I have been asked lately on a regular basis.

The easiest way to do this is in a timeline format - hopefully it all makes sense! Here are a few key "players" in our journey:
Dr. Pohl - my regular OB doctor
Maternal-Fetal Specialists - high risk doctors
Dr. Videlefsky - the pediatric cardiologist
Dr. Kanter - pediatric heart surgeon

My name is Ashlyn and my husband is Josh Murphy. We are expecting our first child  - a boy! - and he is due on May 21 (I am getting induced May 7). We have been married since April 7, 2012 and are excited for our new arrival! I was over the moon excited when we found out we were pregnant back in September of last year.The pregnancy started out just as any other with a fair share of morning sickness and crazy body changes. We found out in early December that we were having a boy, and I will admit my fingers were crossed for a girl, but you all should have seen the look on Josh's face when he realized he was going to have a son :) We went in for our 20 week ultrasound with our regular OB, and this is where our lives were turned upside down. I had even had several nightmares the nights before that the doctor would enter the room and tell me something tragic - I went in to the appointment hoping these were just nightmares and nothing else.

January 4 - Our 20 week anatomy ultrasound was scheduled and the ultrasound technician took a lot of pictures and confirmed that we were indeed having a boy! Throughout the beginning of the ultrasound she was really friendly and talking a lot, but towards the end she got quiet and was taking a lot of pictures of his heart and brain. I was suspicious but thought that it was probably nothing. I mean we hadn't ever done this before so I had no idea what to expect. Dr. Pohl entered the room and said "Well, there are two areas of concern....." What he said after that is a mystery to me because I tried to keep the tears from falling and from completely losing it. There was areas of concern with his heart and we were being recommended to Maternal-Fetal Specialists. They would schedule the appointment for me and be in touch. And just as quickly as we had entered for the appointment, we left.
January 9 - We went in for our appointment with Maternal-Fetal specialists, not knowing what to expect. They did another ultrasound and concluded that they really couldn't tell me what was going on and they wanted me to see the pediatric cardiologist. They asked when we would be able to go, and my immediate response was, "today," and sure enough they scheduled us for that afternoon. They also wanted to do an amniocentesis to see if the heart problem could be genetic related. They completed the procedure, we went to lunch, and then headed to the cardiologist appointment. All the while we are still hoping that nothing is wrong with our sweet baby. Dr. V had something else to say though, and was able to give us a definite diagnosis - our baby boy has Tetralogy of Fallot with Absent Pulmonary Valve Syndrome. These are two separate issues but when combined are a very rare congenital heart defect.

(For more about these three appointments you can read more here. You can also read more about our emotional struggles after the diagnosis here or in this post).

January 23 - Due to the diagnosis our baby will have to have surgery on his heart sometime after he is born. We won't know if it will be sooner or later until he gets here and they can see how he is functioning on his own. Through Dr. V's office we had a tour set up of Egleston to meet the Dr. Kanter and get an idea of what all would happen before, during, and after the surgery. It was good to be able to tour the hospital and get a general idea of the process. You can read more about this consultation here.

We had several appointments throughout the next weeks for check-ups and everything continued to look the same, which was good. Nothing prepared me for what would happen next.

February 7 - we had a follow up appointment with Maternal-Fetal. The ultrasound technician was really nice and talked to us through the whole appointment. After she was done she said she wanted the doctor to come in a take a look, but once the doctor walked in I knew something was wrong. She said she saw some issues with his lungs and wanted us to come back on Monday to get it checked out again. I almost couldn't believe that all of this was happening again, but we scheduled the appointment for Monday and went home to wait.

February 11 - We headed back to the doctor for our follow up visit. We were told that the lungs had increased in brightness and the doctor was going to call our cardiologist's office to get their opinion. He also called his colleagues in Cincinnati who have great experience with lung issues in utero and they wanted to see us, and see us soon. We left the office and waited for them to call us and book the consultation and get everything in order to leave to go to Cincinnati not really knowing what we were going to hear. You can read more about this appointment here.

February 13-15 - We left to drive to Cincinnati on the 13, and all of our appointments were scheduled for the 14th. Talk about a nice Valentine's day gift! Luckily they did not find anything separately related from the heart so we were sent back to Georgia to just continue our monitoring here and also deliver baby M in Georgia. You can read more in depth about this trip by reading this post.

Since these few specific dates we have just continued along with the monitoring. I am measuring about 8-9 weeks ahead in my fundal height (measurement on the outside of my stomach from the top of my uterus to the top of my pelvic bone. This is due to having extra amniotic fluid and baby M is measuring about 4-5 weeks ahead on the growth ultrasounds. I currently have about 3 weeks to go until they are inducing me at 38 weeks and I am seeing the doctor twice a week! Below is a list of FAQ's about or situation that should hopefully help clear up some things for most people.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q - What heart condition does baby M have?
A - Baby M has a rare heart condition known as Tetralogy of Fallot with Absent Pulmonary Valve Syndrome. You can read more about the condition at this website. It does not go in to great detail but can kind of give you a relatively basic understanding of what this means.

Q - Will you have to have a c-section?
A - As of right now the cardiologist thinks it will be best to try and delivery him vaginally. He is measuring ahead on the growth ultrasounds so if he gets closer to an 'estimated' weight of 10-11 pounds before the induction we may discuss having a c-section so we don't run the risk of him getting stuck during the delivery. I will, however, be monitored very closely during labor and they will intervene if he goes in to distress or heart failure at any time.

Q - When will baby M have his surgery?
A - We are not sure when the surgery will be because it all depends on how sick he is when he gets here. We are praying that he is well enough to come home and gain as much weight as possible before having his first surgery around 4-6 months of age.

Q - Where will he have his surgery?
A - The surgery will take place at Egleston in Atlanta.

Q - Will you have to deliver at Egleston?
A - No! I will actually deliver at Gwinnett Medical and they have a great NICU team that will be in the delivery room and take care of baby M once he arrives.

Q - Why aren't  you sharing his name?
A - When we first found out we were pregnant we almost didn't want to find out the sex of the baby. We gave in and decided to go ahead and find out what we were having, and with all of the extra tests we would have had they would have told us the sex anyways. Throughout the whole process we haven't had much control of anything, except for his name. This is one of the only things that just Josh and I know and are able to keep private. We also have complete control over it and are able to keep it our little secret. I know everyone is DYING to know his name, but this is the reason we are just keeping it between us and will reveal the day he is born!

Q - When can we come visit you in the hospital?
A - This is a tricky question. At this point in time we don't know when we will see visitors because we don't know what life after birth will be like. At this time we just ask that those who come to the waiting room respect any decisions we make in regards to having visitors. We do know baby M will be taken to the NICU right away and Josh will be going with him. As soon as I am able they will take me down there to be with Josh and the baby. We really won't have much time to see people in the room, especially since baby M will be in the NICU and not with us and we will be in the NICU as much as possible for however long he is in there. This isn't a "normal" birth where you generally go see the mom and baby soon after birth, so please don't expect that it will be this way. We do know that our close friends and family will be in the waiting room praying over the delivery and also waiting on the name reveal!

This post only took me about a week to write! There are still a lot of unknowns with the situation and I wish I had all the answers, not only for myself, but so I could answer everyone's questions. The best thing right now is that people continue to pray for us and baby Murphy as we get ready to begin the journey with his birth. I am always open to answering questions but I can't always promise that I will have an answer for you. I desperately wish that this situation was very different and as time gets closer and closer it is becoming more and more of a reality. Not that it wasn't real from the start but I could try and put it at the back of my mind because he is still safe and secure while inside. The real fears are of when he makes his arrival and we can see exactly what we are dealing with in regards to his heart condition. Please pray that the delivery will be smooth and they are able to get him stabilized and do an echo to get a clear picture of his heart. Please pray for wisdom of the doctors and nurses that will be taking care of our precious baby.


We have another doctors appointment tomorrow and I will update afterwards about both yesterday and Tuesday's appointment!

Ashlyn

baby shower and nursery pictures!

This is the post that everyone has been waiting for lately! I am finally about to post pictures of the FINISHED nursery for baby M! We have worked hard over the last few weeks to get every part finished, and I am so glad everything is done. It seems that we might have finished it just in the nick of time. I will post the nursery pictures first and then the pictures from the baby shower put on by my wonderful family today! 

My dad and Josh painted the wall, and my mom painted the tree! 

His name will be going up, soon, behind the recliner next to the tree :)

 

Scored the awesome toy chest for only $20 at an antique store!

Looks so much better with a fresh coat of paint and new seat cover.

This is the view out of his bedroom window. Pretty neat, huh?

I hope you all love it as much as we do! The last picture is just so wonderful. How great to know that when I rock my son to sleep at night I can look out the window and be reminded of God's wonderful grace through our whole situation!

Now, on to my baby shower! My aunts, cousins, and grandmother all threw me a golf themed shower today - and they did a GREAT job. The decorations were so cute and everything went together perfectly. It was also nice to spend some time with family and we were so blessed by all of the gifts! Here are some pictures from today :)

 

All of the food had "golf-themed" names, here are a few!

Even though most strangers think we are sisters, this is my mom :)

WHOA BELLY! although I'd rather you just tell me I look great ;) 

Like I said before, the shower was so much fun and I left feeling so blessed! 

My mom made everything in this picture! (minus the frame underneath)

What a great day! Sorry for the picture overload, but I think the pictures hardly even sum everything up. I am working on the "recap" post and also the FAQ's - just so I can answer them all in one place and everyone will be on the same page! Thank you all for the continued prayers. We greatly appreciate them and couldn't ask for a better group of family and friends. Please keep praying that baby Murphy stays put until May 7... we are almost there!

Love to you all,
Ashlyn

walking with a blindfold

Have you ever had the feeling of apprehension when you know you HAVE to do something, but you don't really know how it is all going to turn out? Almost like when you play a game and have to be blind-folded all the way through (I always hated those games, by the way). This is the best way I can relate my feelings to something that others might have a way of understanding. We don't know what lies ahead in this journey, we just know we are nearing the end. I desperately wish we knew what God's plan was and we could be more prepared. Initially in the beginning I had a lot of questions, most of which were answered with, my favorite, "it depends". I find that as we get closer to the unknown my questions have come back and I am trying to find new ways to ask them even though I know what the answer will be, it hasn't changed over the last three months. There are new questions too - such as "will I deliver early" and "does all of this extra fluid that is increasing pose a risk". These are answered with "it's a possibility" and "not necessarily" - kind of a nice way of saying "it depends". I wish I could stop myself from asking these questions - but I can't. I probably will continue until after he is born, even if I know the answer will be "it depends", I feel better asking than not asking and running the risk of missing out on an "actual answer". 

This week was busy for several reasons! I had THREE doctors appointments AND my last day of work! I will go in order so it makes more sense. 

Tuesday - Dr. Pohl, NST appointment
Most of you probably remember that last week I had to stay connected to the NST machine for almost double the time because baby M wasn't moving as much as they wanted him to with the related increases in heart rates. With all of that being said, I went in to this appointment just expecting the same thing so I wouldn't freak myself out! Sure enough I was hooked up longer than the usual and baby M was "buzzed" a couple of times. He finally started moving around and having related heart rate increases for them to be satisfied! Dr. Pohl measured my fundal height (which was 40 cm at 33 weeks last week) and it was 42 CM - holy moly. This means that I am now measuring 8 weeks ahead... and Dr. Pohl said this explains my little trip to labor and delivery Saturday night because my uterus just thinks it is time to go and, in his words, "is going to start firing". My cervix is still closed but he said that doesn't mean I won't go in to pre-term labor, again. I got the impression that he thinks I won't make it to my induction date because he kept saying things like "if you make it that far". I was told just to call him anytime I felt a repeat of Saturday night so we could talk about it on the phone and decide if I need to come in - until then I was back to daily life!

Thursday - Last Day of Work
I am really going to miss all of the wonderful people that I work with at my company! I started Thursday with a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit from Martin's (thanks to one of my coworkers!) and then another coworker took me out to lunch. The Inside Sales department also surprised me with a plethora of yummy treats (including CHICK FIL A ice dreams!) and some of the ladies got me some gifts for baby M :) I was so thankful to feel appreciated, and my manager told me to call him if everything worked out to where I could come back to work! That will make you feel good about yourself :) I do hope that things work out to where I can go back to work, and they will be the first people I call to see if anything is available! 

Thursday - Dr V, Pediatric Cardiologist appointment
These appointments are probably the ones that give me the most anxiety beforehand. You never really know what they are or aren't going to find, and I would really just rather everything be fine. One of the good things about these appointments, though, is the office staff. They are SO nice and are always friendly when we come in to the office. Our ultrasound tech is Michelle and she did the scan as usual. I try not to really pay attention to the screen because I don't know what I am looking at or for so I don't want to make any presumptions or anything. Dr. V came in after Michelle and said that everything still looked the same! I was very thankful for this - even though we still don't know what will happen after birth we do know that things are staying the same while he is still cooking! He mentioned again the the dilation of the pulmonary arteries is pretty severe, one of the most severe he has seen, but that it didn't give an indication of how it would affect him after birth (remember when I said something about walking with a blind-fold?). Next time we see Dr. V will be after baby M makes his big arrival!

Friday - Maternal-Fetal Specialists, BPP appointment
I figured this BPP may be a repeat where baby M decided to not move around as much, and then start moving once the doctor came in so I kind of expected that to be the case. I definitely did not expect for them to tell me what they did! Every appointment starts with them measuring my blood pressure, my weight, and getting a urine sample. During this the nurse asks if I have any cramping, bleeding, etc. I told her about the trip Saturday night and that I was still having contractions and cramps even though it wasn't anything regular. I told her my fundal height from Tuesday and she acted surprised and asked if I had trouble breathing. Since I have extra fluid they have told me that if I have trouble breathing they can "drain" some of it off, but I have never been interested because it risks pre-term labor which I already have enough risks leading up to that! I do have trouble breathing but I can easily adjust myself to a new position or something to alleviate the pressure on my lungs, and that is what I told the nurse. When we went back for the scan, the ultrasound tech immediately said "wow, he looks really big". I wasn't due for another growth scan until next week because I had one two weeks ago (he measured 5 pounds 9 ounces, well in to the 90th percentile) but she decided to go ahead and re-measure. Guess what? He NOW measures 7 pounds 6 ounces - OH MY GOODNESS. I about had a heart attack. My amniotic fluid levels also increased from 28 to 33 this week. I asked if that was any concern and they said not necessarily but it could cause my water to break early... another hint that I might just not make it to 38 weeks. They also said that it could be due to the lung issue they spotted earlier and maybe now there is pressure on his trachea causing some difficulty in swallowing. This is all just an assumption on their parts and they said, yet again, "we won't really know until he gets here". 

He was holding the umbilical cord in front of his face!

Finally got him to move, look at those cheeks :)

 Where do we go from here? Well, we just keep waiting! Please pray that I make it just a few more weeks... we are literally ALMOST there! I have a baby shower tomorrow which I am very excited about and I am going to try to post a "review" post for any new followers we have so people can catch up and also so I can answer some FAQ's that I have been getting lately. Thank you all for following our journey and praying with/for us and our baby.

Love you all,
Ashlyn

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" Romans 8:18
 

mini heart attack #3 (trip to labor and delivery)

As many of you know, Josh and I were celebrating our first anniversary this weekend! We didn't have any set plans and just planned to go with the flow - which is exactly what we did! Saturday night we went out for a nice dinner at Longhorn's and talked about going over to the Gwinnett Braves game (anything even remotely close to Atlanta was way out of the question because of the Final Four, Braves game, and all the other events going on). During dinner I stared having some serious back pain and thought it might have to do with how I was sitting, but it was coming and going pretty regularly. We left Longhorn and headed to get Chick-fil-a ice-cream for dessert (mine and baby M's personal fav!). While in the car I started to time the contractions and they were about 7-8 minutes apart. I didn't want to be one of those first time mom's who calls the doctor about every little thing so we continued to head to the Gwinnett Braves game. After about 45 minutes of consistent contractions I called my mom to get her opinion (and we totally bypassed the entrance to the game). I decided to call my doctor and just let him know what was going on, especially with all of the other issues related to this pregnancy. He told me to just stay off my feet and see if they continued consistently for another hour to call him back. I just had an appointment on Tuesday where my cervix was closed and I had a negative FFN so he thought it was false labor but he wanted to have me keep monitoring. He said normally false labor fades out after an hour or two.

Since we were so close to the Mall of Georgia we headed over there, got some pretzels and a bottle of water and sat down. I continued to monitor them and they were consistently 7-8 minutes apart after another hour and 15 minutes, so I called Dr. Pohl again! (I have to say, even though it is better safe to be sorry I still felt like a complete worry wart idiot for calling). He told me to take myself to labor and delivery and get checked out to see what was going on. At this point I was just hoping that I didn't show up and they just stop completely, then I really would have felt like a fool! We drove to Gwinnett Medical and got "checked in" and taken back to labor and delivery. They strapped a contraction monitor on my belly and one to monitor baby M's heartbeat. Our nurse, Amy, checked my cervix and did another FFN. My cervix was still closed, of course! They also took a urine sample to see if I possibly had a UTI, protein in my urine, or if I was dehydrated. She then left to run all the tests and monitor my contractions for a while. While she was gone the contractions continued and were about 5-6 minutes apart very consistently and some were quite painful! 

Here is how we spent our evening from about 9:15 PM - 1 AM :)

While we were waiting on Amy to come back, another nurse, Sarah, came to say hello! She had JUST messaged me a few days ago on the Baby Murphy Updates page to let me know she was a labor and delivery nurse at Gwinnett Medical and also friends with Josh's cousin, Katie. It was nice to actually meet her in person! Amy came back in after about an hour and 20 minutes with all negative test results! She also said that since my contractions were pretty close together and continuous that she called Dr. Pohl and they were going to give me a shot of Terbutaline to stop the contractions. I asked if there were any risks to baby M, especially with his heart condition, but Amy said no it just may make my heart rate go up and I could feel a little jittery. 

I really hate shots and usually put up a fight, but this really wasn't the time for that... so, she gave me the first shot and said they would monitor me and baby for 20 minutes and then check my blood pressure. They will give you up to 3 doses if the contractions don't stop. After the first shot the contractions slowed to a stop and I definitely felt very funny. She checked my blood pressure 20 minutes later and it was still normal and they decided to give me the second dose to be on the precautionary side. We waited another 30 minutes and she checked my blood pressure again and everything was fine so she sent us home around 12:45 AM! I asked if Dr. Pohl had said anything about bed rest, but he hadn't and they just wanted me to take today easy and rest. I go to work on Monday, but have another appointment with him on Tuesday so there isn't too much time between now and then. My last day of work is also on Thursday (pretty good timing I guess) so I think everything will be okay! 

I have to say, baby M was such a little stinker through all of the monitoring. He was doing all of his acrobatic acts and kicking the monitors I had strapped to me. At one point he moved and the monitor was picking up my heart rate - which was MUCH lower than what his should have been so we were freaking out. I think it happened after the second shot, but Sarah came in and checked my pulse and moved the monitor around to catch his heartbeat which was still strong in the low 130's (right where it always is)! This wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend my evening/weekend, but better safe than sorry and I am very glad I decided to go in! We had our second round of maternity pictures yesterday morning and I had joked that I might go in to labor before next weekend (we almost had to reschedule, details below) and I won't be making jokes like that again! Please pray that baby M stays put for AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. The longer he "cooks" the stronger he will be in the event he needs surgery sooner rather than later!

Sorry for such a long post, but it was a pretty long night.... I included some of our second session maternity pictures below as a treat :) Funny story about that as well... We schedule them for downtown Lawrenceville at 8 AM Saturday morning. I woke up at 7:20 to get a shower and get ready. As soon as I get out of the shower OUR POWER GOES OUT. I wish this was a joke, but I am so serious. We still don't know why, but all of our neighbors lost power too. So, I ended up having to dry my hair by the heat blowing out of my car vents... what an experience! LOL. I think it still looked pretty good for the pictures :) Thankful that Shannon waited an extra 20 minutes for me to finish getting ready and for her amazing pictures! 

 Thank you all for your continued prayers - it is getting so much closer to the time we are going to finally be able to meet baby M/peanut and we are so excited!

Love to you all, 
Ashlyn

wake up, baby Murphy!

It is hard to believe that another whole week has gone by! Time is moving too quickly and I definitely don't feel ready for baby Murphy to make his arrival yet. We had our two weekly appointments this week, and it wouldn't be an appointment without something happening to make me have a mini heart attack. 

Tuesday - Dr. Pohl NST appointment
Every Tuesday we have our 'weekly' NST testing with Dr. Pohl. He also checks my cervix and does an FFN (every two weeks) to see if I show any signs of going in to labor - came back negative this week! The NST consists of me having a monitor strapped to my stomach that measures baby Murphy's heartbeat and makes sure that it fluctuates with any movements he makes. Last week went great and we only had to be on the machine for the normal 20 minutes... this week, not so much. He wasn't hardly moving and the nurse didn't seem very pleased when she came to check on things. She 'buzzed' the baby a few times and he still wasn't moving so she took the results to the doctor. Basically they measure this test as reactive or nonreactive. Dr. Pohl said while the results were reactive, they were not really where he wanted them to be so we had to stay connected to the monitor. I was racking my brain trying to think what would happen if they never got the results they wanted - I could have been admitted to Labor and Delivery for even more monitoring! Thank goodness baby M decided to FINALLY wake up and give us some movement, but not before he gave his mom a slight freak-out moment! Dr. Pohl said everything else looked good, but if I was concerned at any moment about his movements between my appointments to call him immediately, no matter the time! Throughout the week everything was fine so I was just ready for my Friday appointment. 

Friday - Maternal-Fetal BPP appointment
Today we had the BPP appointment that checks his practice breathing, movement, amniotic fluid levels, and some other things. During the day today I noticed that baby M just wasn't moving like normal. He was kicking, but not as much as his usual daily circus act! I decided I would wait until the appointment to say anything, and before I even mentioned it the nurse was having a hard time getting him to move around. She would poke him and he would maybe move once or twice, but nothing on his own (cue my next mini freak out moment for the week). He was practicing breathing on his own and his heartbeat was great but he just wasn't moving around. I mentioned the lessened movements and she said something about they might want to do another NST or even admit me to labor and delivery for monitoring (and the freak out continues). She left to go get the doctor, and when he came in baby M decided to start moving all around... of course! What a little goober, haha! I saw a new doctor today  - Dr. Feng (I think), he was pretty nice. He said if I start to have 45 second - 1 minute contractions every 10 minutes I need to come in to the hospital. He said he tells most people every 5 minutes, but I am special and they need time to get everyone together... let's just hope that I don't have to come in unplanned!

Whew, so glad I can breath easy after those two appointments both with their own little scares. Although, Dr. Feng said I need to start doing kick counts and that if I have less than 10 kicks in two hours I need to call. He explained that babies have sleep and awake cycles in the womb and it seemed like we just caught him sleeping... twice. Please pray that next week both appointments go smoothly and that baby M cooperates with the testing! 

I have to say that as time is dwindling down, I am starting to get more and more nervous. The doctors haven't really been able to tell us what the expect and that is probably the hardest part. I want to know how long he will be in the NICU. I want to know when I will get to hold my baby. I want to know everything and exactly how it is going to happen, but the fact is, they just don't know :/ What I do know to expect is that this won't be anything like a 'normal' birth. We don't even know what is going to be happening after he is born, much less how bad the situation really will be for him. I have so many feelings that I can't even put in to words right now, but I know they are there. I try to get 'predictions' from the doctors, but because it all DEPENDS they are weary to give me any kind of insight, because they just don't know. This coming Tuesday will be roughly four weeks until everything unfolds and I don't think I have ever been more scared/terrified of anything in my whole entire life.

This weekend is the one year wedding anniversary for Josh and I! Specifically April 7- I can't believe it has already been a year, and what a year it has been! I'll post another blog post early next week on the story of us, especially for our blog readers that really don't know too much about us. We plan on having a relaxing weekend and just enjoying spending time with each other, one of our last weekends of just us!

SPECIFIC PRAYER REQUEST - A friend of mine had her baby in January and he was born with a heart defect, HLHS. This is different than baby M's diagnosis, but we have been able to relate and connect on many of the feelings we have experienced. I thank God for bringing her in to my life. Tonight their baby was re-admitted in to the CICU at Egleston and I need you all to be praying for his heart function. This family is dear to my heart and I know they would greatly appreciate all of you prayer warriors lifting them up tonight and throughout the weekend.

Thank you all for continuing to pray for us. We are thankful for such a wonderful group of friends and family and love you all!

Ashlyn