I haven't posted yet in 2014 yet because I wanted this to be my first post of the new year!
Josh and I are overwhelmed with excitement but also nervousness after finding out we are expecting our second child. We have prayed for several months that God would again bless our family, with a perfectly healthy baby, and He has answered our prayers. We are praying week by week for our precious baby and that this baby develops perfectly.
Expecting a baby after losing an infant is a whirlwind of uncharted territory. There is no handbook for this on how we should feel or act, so we are living day by day. This doesn't change my grief, I still miss Sawyer tremendously if not more. I wish he was here to meet his baby brother/sister but he isn't. We won't be buying a double stroller. We don't need to set up a different room for the nursery. I won't have to wonder how I will go from caring for one child to now two. What I will have to worry about is how I can tell this baby about Sawyer. How I can make sure Sawyer is still an active part of our lives.
Blogging has somewhat enabled me to share our lives with multiple people and allowed me to share Sawyers life before, during, and after birth. I will continue to use this blog to travel through my grief process and this new pregnancy. The doctors will be monitoring me closely until 22 weeks and they can ensure there are no heart defects, or defects of any other sort. After that, I will be "cleared" to have a somewhat normal remainder of the pregnancy. I say somewhat because I imagine the fears associated with this pregnancy won't just dissipate after 22 weeks.
Josh and I covet your prayers over this pregnancy and baby. Our God is faithful and we know His plan is perfect! We are trusting Him to protect this baby and their development.
Until next time,
But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15 NIV)
PS - Random Acts of Kindness results blog is almost finished, I have been kind of busy keeping a secret :)