Thursday, April 24, 2014

Rhory: 20 weeks!

I have been taking weekly pictures through this pregnancy with Rhory, just as I did with Sawyer, but I haven't really posted them any where -- for several reasons. The first reason being that I never really posted them with Sawyer, they were more for our 'personal' use. The second being that I have so many friends who have recently lost babies and/or who are struggling with infertility. I know that these friends are happy for us through this journey, but I can't help remembering how pregnancy announcements and photos made me feel those months after losing Sawyer. I have decided to post the pictures in my blog, though! Here they are (starting with week 12 and ending with week 19, haven't taken week 20 picture yet!):

As you know, we had two different appointments today.The first was with the pediatric cardiologist and the second with the specialists for our anatomy scan where they look at the baby in detail. I posted on Facebook that the appointment with our cardiologist, Dr. Videlfsky, went GREAT! I also followed that with the results from the anatomy scan at the specialists. They found two different things that are of possible concern. Please do not ask what these areas are because we do not want to share them yet. We just ask that you pray the preliminary blood work we did today comes back normal, and that both things are cleared up by the next appointment! I know that everyone is thrilled about the heart being perfect, as are we, but it seems that the heart news caused people to glaze over the other results. There were an alarming amount of comments on my status that didn't even touch on the request for prayers over these concerns and almost acted as if we received all great news today. I would be lying if I said it wasn't tearing me up inside that something could be a potential issue. In comparison to the heart defect we dealt with during the pregnancy with Sawyer, both of these things are on a lot lower scale. After losing a baby, nothing seems 'small' and any area of concern seems like a slap in the face. We are praying that these truly are nothing, but it's currently a wait and see. I'm not being pessimistic and I am not being optimistic, I am trying to be realistic. The fact is that there could be nothing going on, but there is also a chance that something could be going on with Rhory. I'm feeling frustrated that there are even possible issues, but trusting God in His plan through this. He hasn't left our side through losing Sawyer, and I know He is right here with us now, no matter what. Poor planning on my part has left the results coming in just days before Sawyer's birthday and the next appointment is the day after a year since he has passed away. Due to everything, I am an emotional wreck. I have so many feelings flooding through my heart and I am doing my best to handle my grief and now anxiousness through the next weeks.

Prayers for peace through the waiting and also for these issues to be resolved would be much appreciated. We are so, so incredibly thankful for Rhory's "absolutely perfect" (according to Dr. V) heart and are remaining hopeful that even if there are issues they will be small, much smaller, in comparison to a heart defect.

Fun Pregnancy Information
How far along: 20 weeks!
Total weight gain: So far I haven't gained any and have been losing due to my never-ending sickness.
Maternity clothes: Yes and no. I can still wear a lot of my pre-pregnancy pants!
Stretch marks: Nope!
Sleep: Great! Not quite to the 'waking up every hour to pee' stage :)
Best moment of this week: Josh felt Rhory kick for the first time!
Miss anything: Cereal... Rhory hates it and I REALLY want it sometimes... but I'd rather not get sick after eating it!
Movement: Rhory is definitely moving all the time! Today's appointment showed she was breech and her feet were directly on my bladder, but I could have told you that :)
Food cravings: Sour candy and french toast!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Any super strong smells make me nauseous and I am still pretty nauseous when I wake up
Have you started to show yet: Yes!
Gender: Girl!