another piece to the puzzle...

    I'm not really even sure where to begin this post. The best thing to do is probably start at the beginning. Last week I had my appointments with Dr. V (our pediatric cardiologist) and Dr. Pohl (my regular OB) and this week we had a follow up with the maternal-fetal specialists (the high-risk doctor). We knew that we would continue to have appointments with them because they will be monitoring baby Murphy through ultrasounds rather than us seeing Dr. V and Dr. Pohl more frequently. Our appointment was at 9AM. One of the good things about these appointments (with Dr. V, Pohl, and Maternal-Fetal) is that they are all in the same building at Gwinnett Medical, which is right down the road from our house. 
    My mom has been going to all the appointments so far and since I knew this would just be a follow-up and wouldn't tell us anything new I told her it would be okay if she didn't come. At our last appointment they gave us some 3D images and I think she wanted to see that again so she decided to just come along and be able to see the ultrasound and possibly some 3D images. Unfortunately, we weren't lucky enough to get anymore 3D pictures, but they did get some good ones of his profile!

My mom thinks he is giving a fist pump! Lol

    The appointment started out the same, the ultrasound tech was just taking measurements and making sure everything still looked good. Last time we went we saw Dr. Eller but he was not in today so our doctor was Dr. Lipscomb. After the ultrasound technician left we were waiting on Dr. Lipscomb to come in for quite some time... When she came in she was so nice and she started an ultrasound. Then she said the dreaded words "there is something that concerns me", and I literally almost lost it right there. She mentioned that the ultrasound technician had noticed something with his lungs and she could see it to on the screen. I felt like I had been hit in the throat. One of my first thoughts was "are you kidding me - are we really going through this again?" She wasn't sure if it was their new imaging (it had changed since last time) or if it was something that would require a fetal MRI so they could get a better picture, and she also wanted to check with Dr. V to see if they had picked it up on their ultrasound last week. She left us in the room to go call Dr. Videlfsky and look at the previous images.
    So, there we were ... again, waiting to hear what the verdict was as we had been in the past. I felt the exact same way we had when we left Dr. Pohl's office the first time a month ago and he had told us that there might be an issue and he was unsure what it might be. When the doctor came back in the room I really had no idea what was going to happen. I am so thankful that she called Dr. V right away and wanted to discuss with him in regards to how it relates to the heart. Based on the previous pictures, Dr. Lipscomb did notice the same "area" (that is what I am calling it for now because I really don't know how to describe it) on his lungs. Since it was more pronounced now, she and Dr.V decided to go ahead and have me scheduled for a fetal MRI and they want me to come back on Monday so they can see if there are any changes and try to get a better picture of everything. Dr. Lipscomb said she was sorry for how it had upset me and for possibly giving me too much information. I told her I was used to it by now and would MUCH rather be prepared, that is just my personality, even if it is upsetting right now.
   
    I honestly don't know what to say is going on because much like when they first noticed something with baby M's heart, they didn't really give me any options of what it could mean. She named a few things, but I am not posting them here for a few reasons. One – since we aren’t sure, I don’t want myself or anyone else making speculations based on the few things they threw out. Two – I don’t want to say what it ‘might be’ because that is never certain. Once they get a better idea or know for a fact what it is I will definitely be posting that on the blog. A question that I am sure most of you will ask – “Is this something caused by the heart issues already existing”. The answer isn’t for sure right now, but Dr. Lipscomb indicated that from what they could tell it wasn’t and that’s why it stuck out. Hindsight is 20/20 for sure. I never suspected anything from the ultrasound tech, but now I remember her asking if Dr. V had mentioned anything about the lungs – to which I replied “no, but we know his arteries are dilated and would affect his breathing”. That wasn’t what she was asking – and now I know why she was asking. We don’t know what is going on, if anything, but the unknown really is the worst. I’d like to think it is nothing, but that is another thing I have learned through this experience – be prepared for BOTH sides. If it does turn in to something, I will be so thankful they found it NOW, rather than a surprise at the birth with his already existing heart condition.
    My thoughts after today are scrambled. I am being completely honest when I say that I feel like I am holding on by a thread. I went in to this appointment just thinking it would be a normal appointment where we would get some cute pictures and find out when we had to come back. Talk about being punched in the throat – or maybe a living nightmare? If I have learned anything through this experience so far it is to take it day by day. I am not worrying about what it is, because I don’t know what to worry about and we really aren’t sure if there is an issue. I am just frustrated because I wish this wasn’t happening. I still haven’t wrapped my mind around this heart issue and then BAM! The waiting game continues and it is becoming ever more frustrating. I am trying my hardest to trust the Lord and his plan because I KNOW he has a plan. I just wish I could see it and know how it works out in the end.
    
  
    Thank you all again for your prayers and support – it all means so much to Josh and I through this time of ups and downs. I don’t know what is in store for all of us - but it really is nice to have such a large group of people supporting us and standing by our side. We love you all!

Specific Prayer Requests

·         Pray for peace for Josh and I as we wait for more news and a definitive answer on what may OR may not be going on.

·         Pray for the doctor’s as they continue to monitor baby M’s heart and now his lungs.

·         Pray for the fetal MRI, scheduled for February 20^th. 

One more - I think his hand is by his head saying "Do we have to do this again?! Can't I just sleep?"

  

“"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18”