wake up, baby Murphy!

It is hard to believe that another whole week has gone by! Time is moving too quickly and I definitely don't feel ready for baby Murphy to make his arrival yet. We had our two weekly appointments this week, and it wouldn't be an appointment without something happening to make me have a mini heart attack. 

Tuesday - Dr. Pohl NST appointment
Every Tuesday we have our 'weekly' NST testing with Dr. Pohl. He also checks my cervix and does an FFN (every two weeks) to see if I show any signs of going in to labor - came back negative this week! The NST consists of me having a monitor strapped to my stomach that measures baby Murphy's heartbeat and makes sure that it fluctuates with any movements he makes. Last week went great and we only had to be on the machine for the normal 20 minutes... this week, not so much. He wasn't hardly moving and the nurse didn't seem very pleased when she came to check on things. She 'buzzed' the baby a few times and he still wasn't moving so she took the results to the doctor. Basically they measure this test as reactive or nonreactive. Dr. Pohl said while the results were reactive, they were not really where he wanted them to be so we had to stay connected to the monitor. I was racking my brain trying to think what would happen if they never got the results they wanted - I could have been admitted to Labor and Delivery for even more monitoring! Thank goodness baby M decided to FINALLY wake up and give us some movement, but not before he gave his mom a slight freak-out moment! Dr. Pohl said everything else looked good, but if I was concerned at any moment about his movements between my appointments to call him immediately, no matter the time! Throughout the week everything was fine so I was just ready for my Friday appointment. 

Friday - Maternal-Fetal BPP appointment
Today we had the BPP appointment that checks his practice breathing, movement, amniotic fluid levels, and some other things. During the day today I noticed that baby M just wasn't moving like normal. He was kicking, but not as much as his usual daily circus act! I decided I would wait until the appointment to say anything, and before I even mentioned it the nurse was having a hard time getting him to move around. She would poke him and he would maybe move once or twice, but nothing on his own (cue my next mini freak out moment for the week). He was practicing breathing on his own and his heartbeat was great but he just wasn't moving around. I mentioned the lessened movements and she said something about they might want to do another NST or even admit me to labor and delivery for monitoring (and the freak out continues). She left to go get the doctor, and when he came in baby M decided to start moving all around... of course! What a little goober, haha! I saw a new doctor today  - Dr. Feng (I think), he was pretty nice. He said if I start to have 45 second - 1 minute contractions every 10 minutes I need to come in to the hospital. He said he tells most people every 5 minutes, but I am special and they need time to get everyone together... let's just hope that I don't have to come in unplanned!

Whew, so glad I can breath easy after those two appointments both with their own little scares. Although, Dr. Feng said I need to start doing kick counts and that if I have less than 10 kicks in two hours I need to call. He explained that babies have sleep and awake cycles in the womb and it seemed like we just caught him sleeping... twice. Please pray that next week both appointments go smoothly and that baby M cooperates with the testing! 

I have to say that as time is dwindling down, I am starting to get more and more nervous. The doctors haven't really been able to tell us what the expect and that is probably the hardest part. I want to know how long he will be in the NICU. I want to know when I will get to hold my baby. I want to know everything and exactly how it is going to happen, but the fact is, they just don't know :/ What I do know to expect is that this won't be anything like a 'normal' birth. We don't even know what is going to be happening after he is born, much less how bad the situation really will be for him. I have so many feelings that I can't even put in to words right now, but I know they are there. I try to get 'predictions' from the doctors, but because it all DEPENDS they are weary to give me any kind of insight, because they just don't know. This coming Tuesday will be roughly four weeks until everything unfolds and I don't think I have ever been more scared/terrified of anything in my whole entire life.

This weekend is the one year wedding anniversary for Josh and I! Specifically April 7- I can't believe it has already been a year, and what a year it has been! I'll post another blog post early next week on the story of us, especially for our blog readers that really don't know too much about us. We plan on having a relaxing weekend and just enjoying spending time with each other, one of our last weekends of just us!

SPECIFIC PRAYER REQUEST - A friend of mine had her baby in January and he was born with a heart defect, HLHS. This is different than baby M's diagnosis, but we have been able to relate and connect on many of the feelings we have experienced. I thank God for bringing her in to my life. Tonight their baby was re-admitted in to the CICU at Egleston and I need you all to be praying for his heart function. This family is dear to my heart and I know they would greatly appreciate all of you prayer warriors lifting them up tonight and throughout the weekend.

Thank you all for continuing to pray for us. We are thankful for such a wonderful group of friends and family and love you all!

Ashlyn