July Fourth 2013

Dear Sawyer,

This was the first holiday where we had a family get-together since you passed away. It was fun and extremely difficult all at the same time. Ever since we found out we were pregnant I created these dreams of what our life with you would be like, including different holidays. I never got to see how my dreams would play out, so I just have to keep dreaming. I wonder what you would have thought about fireworks - would you have been scared or would you be like your daddy and love them all? I bet you were sitting up there with Jesus watching all the fireworks with the best seat in the house. It was hard experiencing yet another holiday without you, and sometimes it just seems like life is moving forward without you here, but I'm not ready for that yet. I want you to be here with us physically so bad I can feel the pain.

We lit off fireworks for about 30 minutes before we headed out to visit you and light off sparklers. I want you to know that you will always be a part of our holidays and we will never stop including you. I hate that for now we are separated, but one day you and I will have a glorious reunion in Heaven and you can show me all around and introduce me to all the friends you have made! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you, and sometimes it seems like I miss you more than ever before. I am constantly wondering how life would be so different if you were here with us and how much happier I would be with you here. I know you don't want Mommy to be sad, I just miss you so terribly much. I come visit you a lot and I enjoy spending time out there with you. You are so special to me and I love you more than words could ever express. You will always be my baby, always. I love you sweet boy. 


Love,
Mommy

P.S. Here are some pictures from our sparklers with you last night, I hope you enjoyed them!

 

Happy 4th baby boy!

Some of the family came out to light sparklers!

Emma Grace brought you a bracelet, to match the one she has :)

 

 

 

Missing you more and more sweet Sawyer

 

We love you Sawyer!