It is so crazy that in a little over two months we will be meeting our precious Rhory! As time gets closer the whirlwind of emotions definitely intensify, and some I am just completely taken aback by some of them. It is an emotional roller coaster that most do not understand, so we learn to tread these waters alone. I don't really think we are *completely* alone because I know God has walked beside us every step of the way, but in terms of friends here on Earth - we are pretty much alone in the experience. I told one of my friends just the other day that I have never prepared to bring a baby home, just to take one to the hospital. In fact, we haven't ever brought a baby home. Part of my heart wants to protect myself and not get everything set up like we did last time - because people had to rush to our house to make sure they put everything away. I am trusting that this time will be different, but that doesn't change what has happened in the past to make me weary of what is to come. None of that changes the fact that we are so excited, but those are real feelings and thoughts that I am faced with, unfortunately.
(DISCLAIMER: This is not directed at anyone in particular, in fact I can't even remember when I have heard these comments. I do know and understand that all people have good intentions while talking to us and I am in no way trying to make you feel bad. On the other hand I hear time and time again that no one knows what to say to us, and I understand that so I am trying to help by letting you know what not to say. Please don't think I am targeting one person or trying to be too harsh - these are just my raw emotions and feelings, and you all know I've never been one to hold them back before!) It frustrates me when people make comments to us as if this is our first baby and we are about to embark on being parents for the first time. Not only does that hurt my feelings but it makes me feel as if they don't validate anything we have been through nor the child we do have - regardless of the fact that he is no longer with us. The comments "just get ready for no sleep" and "your life is about to change forever" are annoying. Our lives did change forever - last May when we welcome Sawyer in to this world. Yes, they are going to change again as we welcome our SECOND child, but the meaning behind the comment is as if we don't know what being parents is like. We also don't need anyone telling us to prepare for no sleep - how much sleep do you think we got when our son was fighting for his life in the hospital? We aren't stupid and this is not our first rodeo, even though it is our first time bringing a baby to our physical home - please don't act like this is our first child or first experience at being parents. I do realize this is our first time bringing a baby home and will be much like as if it is our first experience. In no way to I think we have it all together and know what we are doing. I guess I just don't want to be reminded of what we missed out on and are still missing out on with Sawyer. It's still hard to wrap my mind around bringing a baby home because we didn't do that last time. Everything is different and it makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I'm not trying to push people away and make them hesitant and walk on egg shells around me, but after several of these comments and realizing it really hurt my heart I just thought it would be better to tell people how I felt so they knew. It's not anyone's fault - it's a direct reaction based on what has happened and one I have little control over.
I still have to go to the specialist and my regular OB every time I have an appointment. Generally they are on the same day, but this time they were a few days apart. My specialist appointment was last Friday and they did a growth scan - little miss Rhory is weighing about 2 pounds 8 ounces and is in the 47th percentile. Right on track! The doctor said the brightness of her bowels doesn't seem AS bright as it did, so we are thankful for that! Although, they will still check her out thoroughly after birth just to make sure - which is okay with us for sure. My appointment with Dr. Pohl, my regular OB, was yesterday. He just checks the heartbeat and measures my fundal height. Everything is measuring on track so we scheduled my next appointment for 30 weeks because now I get seen every two weeks! I will go again after that at 32 weeks and start my twice weekly appointments! Yay!
Baby Rhory will be here before anyone knows it!
Here are my latest weekly pictures since the last post (& one of her from our appt!):
.JPG) | ||
| We didn't get 3D this time, but here is her profile :) |
Fun Pregnancy Information
How far along: 28 weeks!
Total weight gain: At the last appointment I had gained 4-5 pounds, yay for being on the gaining side!
Maternity clothes: Yes! Finally not really able to fit in most pre-maternity pants. Still rockin' the two piece at the beach :)
Stretch marks:Some!
Sleep: Waking up a few times a night to pee, and having trouble finding a comfortable position.
Best moment of this week/month: Catching up with old friends!
Miss anything: Not particularly
Movement:Yes! We can see her moving all over from the outside. She is still breech and kicking me right in the bladder, all the time :)
Food cravings:DESSERT - I want it all, literally after every meal! LOL
Anything making you queasy or sick: Other than the smell of fish, I am doing pretty good!
Have you started to show yet: Yes!
Gender: Girl!
Next update coming at 32 weeks! Love,
Ashlyn
Love it!! So happy for yall!! Thinking of yall and our angel baby families.
ReplyDelete