Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Random Acts of Christmas Kindness - RESULTS!

I have been completely slacking on getting this done. We went out of town for New Years and then I started back teaching and my Master's class so I was somewhat preoccupied. Better late than never right :)

I am excited to share everything that was done! I did try to condense some, and combine others. I left out names, for privacy reasons (some of the stories were pretty personal). I also had a hard time posting pictures, so for now there are none :/ The stories are separated by every other story being italicized. I tried to fix spelling errors, but there were so many that I didn't check them all.

Here goes!

I will start with mine!


- I handed out cookies and cupcakes at various stores in Bethlehem and Snellville. Working in retail during the holidays can total stink, so I tried to brighten some people's day.
- Paid for the two people behind me in line at McDonald's.
- Left some treats for our mailman,
- Paid for a little boys haircut.
- Gave two 100% tips and paid for different people's meals at a sit-down restaurant.


Others:
-Cleaned a friend's house.

-See the lane to the right in this picture? (I can't post the picture, but I am trying!) It becomes a turn only lane past that intersection. It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine how people get in that lane and then cut people off by getting in the left lane - ie, MY LANE. I rarely let people over because it drives me crazy.

But today I decided that I would start. Every time I have the opportunity to be gracious, I will do it. No matter what, I will start allowing people to move over, because it is the act of kindness they may need and it is certainly the change of heart I need.


-Baked homemade chocolate chip cookies for the Sylvester Cancer Center team of Miami, FL. My first RACK. More coming soon. I know you or your mommy and daddy don't know me, but for someone so sweet and small you sure know how to make a big impact on people's lives. Mine especially. Thank you for your forever RACK. Thank you for inspiring us to make a difference in a strangers life this season. Warmest Blessings and Prayers to the Murphy family this season. God Bless you all. 

- Ashlyn and Josh,
I feel so blessed to be able to be a part of RACK this Christmas season! Tonight I was going to FedEx to print out the cards (our printer is broken), when I got there a family was in their car to leave. Their battery was dead and I thankfully had jumper cables to help them out. It is so bitter cold here and it felt so nice to be able to help out a family in need. I only wish that I had the cards already printed so that they could email yall too. The FedEx employees were so nice as they didn't charge me for printing the cards. I told them all about Sawyer and what we are all doing this year. I plan on taking them some cookies tomorrow. I hope and pray that so many people are blessed by Sawyer's story this Christmas season.
Thank you so much for sharing Sawyer with me. He has made me learn to slow down and be more thankful even for the little things in life. Merry Christmas! I love yall and I pray that God will continue to bless yall!



-I RACKd the ladies at the AirForce Village Assisted living by doing their makeup before their big Christmas "dance". As I applied make up to each face I told them the story of Sawyer and they loved being a part of your Christmas.


-Making candy canes with Sawyer's message for postman, various neighbors and people I come in contact with!   I got RACK'ED ....... The lady sitting in front of me at iHop paid for my breakfast...

-Dear Ashlyn and Josh,

Your courage and faith in God continue to be an inspiration to me. You all are in our prayers.I know God is working through you and your story, and I appreciate all the ways you see that, too. This year, we had the opportunity to partner with an organization called Pride For Parents. Typically, they function in South Atlanta, but a neighborhood group our Church supports partnered with them to bring a second event to Tucker, GA. They take donated toys and gifts for parents who have limited funds to purchase gifts. They re-price these gifts for the parents to a fraction of their original cost so the parents can purchase the gifts for their children, instead of just accepting a hand out.

We felt you and Sawyer would appreciate knowing these children to have the opportunity to open a new
toy on Christmas morning.



-I told you the story of being to share Sawyers prayer pocket to a grandfather who's granddaughter had been born with a heart condition. Her name was Camryn and she went to play with Sawyer in heaven after living 80 days here on earth. Her grandfather and her grandmother came to see me the other day. Tom* only has three months to live and Pam's* job is ending the end of this month. Pam said her faith in God was teetering after Camryns death but now she knows there is no God because if there were He would not allow these things to happen. Your words rang in my heart, "just listen". I told her that I could not imagine the pain, stress and frustration she was going through but I did know someone that does, our Heavenly Father. I provided them with hard fact info about his benefits (as this is my job) and told them that Sawyer and Camryn were preparing with the angels for Jesus birthday. I told them I would pray that they would be able to feel God's loving arms carrying them through this difficult time and I hoped they would allow me to help anyway I could. She told me she would mail me Sawyers prayer pocket. I asked her to keep it as a reminder that I would be praying for them and when she felt ready she could share Camryn and Sawyers story with someone else who needed to hear about their precious lives and give them Sawyer s prayer pocket. Thank you for allowing me to share his story and God's love. We love you, Josh and Sawyer forever and always.


-Made Peppermint Hot Cocoa and Chocolate M&M cookie mixes for our neighbors and some friends. We just moved here less than 2 months ago. We started the elf"ed" game in our neighborhood and put these treats on the porches of the people in our cul-de-sac. I saw your post and added in Sawyer's Racked cards to our gifts. Hopefully, when the elf someone....they will also add in Sawyer's cards too. Merry Christmas you guys!!!! Love ya!!

-Hello,  I have a story of a random act of kindness that happened to me yesterday.
It didn't transpire directly from the RACK'ed project, but it brought attention and prayers your way.

I was trying to order some cookies from a little pastry shop in Boston that my dad loves for Christmas.  We live in Georgia now and he always talks about how great they were.
My sister and I took him to Boston this past year for his 75th birthday and he feels that will be his last trip ever going to our hometown.
When I went to check out, the fee for shipping was over three times the amount of my order and I was very frustrated!
I posted on Facebook my frustration in hopes that one of our family members could ship the package and I would reimburse them.

A high school friend whom I haven't spoken to in 20 years saw my post and offered to take the train to the pastry shop and then ship them for me...and wouldn't accept any payment from me.  It was her Christmas gift to my family.
I was floored by her offer and she kept saying "it's just cookies!"
But it wasn't just cookies, it was pure kindness, and we don't see that often enough.
I shared with her your blog and the Random Act Of Kindness cards.  She was so touched by your story and this project.
She did it out of pure thoughtfulness, and through it, she is now praying for your family also.


-Hello,

The recipients of our RACKing may not have access to a computer, so I wanted to send this email on their behalf.

My son and I put together "blessing bags" that we will keep in my car for when we see the homeless or someone in need holding signs at stoplights.
During this season, we packed the bags full of warm socks, cough drops, non perishable snacks, toothpaste/brushes, soap, lotion, chapstick, and Kleenex.
We made 10 bags in memory of Sawyer.

We continue to pray for your family and are sending warm thoughts your way this Christmas


-I paid for a lady's order at World's Delights and Coffee in Dacula. She was SO surprised...it was fun!

I ordered a special treat tray from my friend at The Purple Peach Bakery in Dacula to be delivered to a lady who lost her son in a motorcycle accident this past summer.

Tipped 100% of our bill to our waitress at Waffle House for lunch today!

Sawyers Greatgrandmother Cammie brought me a cash gift to use however I would like. She suggested Starbucks! Instead I have decided to share it with my 2 assistants, along with a little extra to thank them for working so hard and helping to make our new business get off to a great  start! Thanks Sawyer and Greatgrandmama!

I decided to bake some yummy Christmas cookies and deliver them. I took a batch to the bank I used to work at and also to my ob/gyn's office. I was part of a running group and we had a little get together so I took a bunch of bags of cookies with cards on them. Since the people at FedEx were so sweet to not charge me to print out the rack cards I took them a batch too! James and I are a part of a mom & me group through a church and they are having a book exchange and I placed a rack'ed card in the book! We are also donating toys to Toys for Tots and I'm gonna put rack'ed cards on each toy. I really hope that I was able to bless a few people by sharing Sawyer's story with them. I know I am blessed to have been able to share his story! 

Josh and Ashlyn this is *one of my students*. He has one of the most loving spirits in spite of the hardships in his life. Most days he arrives at school with dirty clothes, no socks, and needing a bath. He shoe laces drag the ground and I always get on my knees to tie them. I get the blessing of teaching him to read. He has some learning issues but responds to interventions as I interact with lots of love. I wish you could have seen his eyes when I put the Velcro light up Sketchers on his feet! He told me his mom had never bought him a pair of shoes. In the shoebox was a comic strip book and he grabbed it up. Later in the day I saw him with his mentor from a local church. His Christmas present to her was the comic book.... how precious. My prayer is that this RACK will impact a child and his future.

We received a generous donation here at the animal shelter along with your RACK'ed card. Thank you for the donation. We very much appreciate it. - Northeast Georgia Animal Shelter

Nana and I Racked the Shorter University Leadership Fund with a special Christmas contribution to Shorter's Special Leadership Fund.  This fund is used to provide scholarships, mission trips and other special needs as determined by the President and his Leadership team.  So each time The Leadership Team grants a special gift to a student, Sawyer will be honored and remembered.  

We are so pleased that you encouraged us to perform this random act of Christmas kindness. May God be glorified!  
Today, I delivered Quik Trip cups with the first drink free to three of my
co-workers who have been good friends of mine and prayer warriors for our
family. I also taped money to the vending machine in my office. 
  
I received a fountain drink cup from QT from your Nana Marla. I can take the cup to QT and get a free drink! Praying for the family.

Merry Christmas!
Yesterday, a dear friend of mine presented me with a "RACK" card along with a Starbucks gift card. She knew how much I enjoyed Starbucks and that I too, am a grieving Mother this Christmas.  Our circumstances are different as my son left this world July 30th, at the age of 33. My son suffered an addiction to alcohol. An addiction he battled most of his adult life. The addiction won that day, as my son ended his life. He left behind his parents, a son, as well as a sister, brothers, multiple cousins, aunts, uncles etc. We remain in shock. I'm especially sad for his son and the things he won't get to do with his Father. Learning to drive a car, a first date, High School graduation, college, marriage to name just a few. I pray each day that God allows me to live a long life to help with his upbringing.  There is such a stigma surrounding suicide.  But mental illness is just that, a mental illness.

I've read through your blog and can associate with you on how some 'expect' us to be ok so soon after the death of a child.  I will never be ok.  I can and choose to continue living day by day, enjoying pockets of joy as they come. We, too are struggling as the holidays approach. We're attempting to get used to our "new normal". Some days are easier than others.

We have been and are blessed with friends, family and a wonderful church family.  They are excellent examples of 'Jesus with skin on' to us, and I stand amazed at God's goodness to me. I know I'll see my son again one day and I'm thankful that his demons are now gone, that he's been made whole and that he's with his maker.  The ONE that loves him more than we do.

I promise to pay my RACK forward and will remember your sweet family and Sawyer as I do so.

 Bought a family of four breakfast.

We donated 4 winter coats to the Partnership Against Domestic Violence in memory of Sawyer. A woman and her kids whove fled an abusive home, will have warms coats to wear this winter.

Our family made cookies and brownies for four of our neighbors in honor of Sawyer! :)

I RACK'd several people at my church and also my house cleaning ladies.

At first I couldn't think of what to do for this when Ashlyn put up the blog but then I had two twenty dollar bills left over from grocery shopping and I figured it out. I put each dollar bill in an envelope and attached the RACK card to the front then when I went to different stores today I out an envelope of the windshield on 2 different cars in the Walmart/kohls parking lot. I wanted to wait to see who came and got into the cars after I did this but that seemed kind of creepy to me the more I thought about it. Haha So 2 different people came out to $20 on their cars after shopping and hopefully could get good use out of it. Not thinking this was enough I had some extra mini nutella cups at my house so I put then in a tin and left them in our mailbox for our mail person to have and hopefully they liked them. I was going to take pictures of the envelopes on the cars but I was too worried someone would think I was doing something to someone's car that I shouldn't so I didn't. Well I really hope the people who got the money and the mail person who got the goodies really enjoyed it and felt the love of Jesus through this and Sawyer's story. I love you all and hope all these stories bring you some joy this holiday!


RACK'd the Georgia SPCA Pet Adoptions -Shared a bag full of toys for some dogs looking for forever homes. Added a few festive collars to have them looking their best when folks drop by.

We have new neighbors that are expecting a baby. They are going through a very difficult time financially and have only been together since April. They have nothing for this little gift from God so I knew I wanted to rack them in honor of Sawyer with a gift for the baby. I assumed I would come home with a cute stuffed giraffe or an outfit with a giraffe on it. However when I walked past this frame God placed it on my heart that this young couple needed a reminder to see on those tough days that this miracle is truly the greatest gift they could ever receive. Something you two have always known and done such a great job showing Sawyer and the world that he is the greatest gift you have ever received. Thank you for sharing your gift of Sawyer and his story to us and the many others. You are truly amazing parents.



Jessie and I went shopping tonight and we bought some candy canes while we were out. I had some RACK’d cards with me and when we stopped to get donuts it sounded like the girl taking our order at the drive through was having a tough day, so I gave her 2 candy canes and a card before we left. I also gave them to the clerk who checked us out at Kohl’s tonight and she got the biggest smile on her face!

We’ll be handing out more tomorrow while we’re out shopping and when we go to have our traditional Waffle House dinner tomorrow night. 
Our neighbor recently had surgery to remove cancer and then reconstructive surgery. God laid it in on my heart to give her a prayer blanket like the one that was given to me for my grandmother when she was so sick. So as a rack we fixed a prayer blanket for her and placed it on her front porch.

Hi Murphys,
We are friends with Laura and Andrew and Laura shared with us about the love that you are inviting people to share with you this Christmas.  We just had to join in!  We are currently living in Edinburgh, Scotland working with a team to set up a campus ministry for students here at the University of Edinburgh.  It is so amazing to read your story and see how God is moving in your lives and the lives you and Sawyer are touching all over the world!  We live in an apartment building and baked some bags of cookies to hang on the door handles of all of our building neighbors.  We live on the top floor (number 6!), so we are going to 'deliver' them as we walk to the Christmas Eve service at church tonight (no elevators in these old buildings!).

Thank you for sharing your story of hope and love, we are so excited to be a part of it!


Dear Murphy family,
Our lives have been touched by your sweet child in such a profound way. We have learned to take nothing for granted. We didn't have much this Christmas to give because of the expense of nursing school but we were at Ingles in Auburn and I overheard a woman tell her teen that they couldn't get bacon right now because they had to get formula for the baby. I was instantly in tears because we had so much comparatively. I didn't even have a print out of your sawyer print so I hand wrote it all out on a piece of paper after pulling it up on my phone. I knew that I had to help so I asked if I could pay for her groceries. Your story has changed the way I view my life and I thank you for that. I pray everyday for y'all and hope The Lord uplifts you on Christmas Day.


I received a gas card. It was such a blessing considering money has been tight this year.
I then bought a gift card and passed it along to an older couple in church who love the Lord and work very hard. The husband works in construction and work is not always steady. They have also experienced the loss of a child some 20+ years ago.  

We were so blessed to be invited to share kindness in memory of Sawyer this year- we made cookies and took them to our neighbors and shared Sawyer's story. It was such an incredible opportunity to share with them the power of hope in Jesus. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your story- praying for you and sending love your way today-


As you know, my life has been somewhat busy since your Uncle Andy's accident almost 5 weeks ago. With that being said, Sawyer is always in my heart! My love for him is immeasurable, and while I long to be with him, I know that God's plan for me here on Earth is not complete yet. So, I rest assured that we will all be together again one day and am at peace knowing that he is in the very place we all long to be...with our Lord and Savior! I carried out the spirit of "racking" people with great joy, but am just now finding the time to submit my list....

1. I started my random acts of kindness by paying 2 people's parking for them. I took the parking passes to them personally, as they were entering the parking lot. Each car offered to pay me, but I explained that it was my pleasure and to enjoy their day! I left both cars with as big, if not bigger, a smile on my face as they had on theirs! These people were taking their children to visit the Children's Museum in Atlanta...a place I know Sawyer would have enjoyed with his Daddy!

2. I bought lunch for one of my co-workers, who is a very dear friend as well. My co-workers all know and love Josh, Ashlyn, and Sawyer and ask about you guys ALL the time! I enjoyed treating someone to lunch in honor of my sweet Sawyer in the place where I watched him take his very first breath!

3. A very sweet young lady, whom I have known most of her life, painted Emma Grace's dollhouse for me. As a side note, she did such an incredible job...she has so much talent! Pictures to follow after Christmas! Anyway, in the "spirit of Sawyer" I gave her a fifty dollar tip when paying her for the hard work and love she put into the dollhouse...without telling her! I hope this brought her a little extra happiness at Christmas!

4. The last random act of kindness I did was to surprise my daughter by cleaning her room and bathroom while she was gone. This was just a small token of my appreciation, and one way I could give back to her for all the love and support she has given me since her Dad's accident.

I must say, I know Sawyer is so proud of the parents God blessed him with! The Random Acts of Christmas Kindness was just one of the many ways that Sawyer's story lives on and blesses people every single day! I hope that this tradition will live on year after year after year...just as our love and memories of our precious Sawyer will!

I love you guys more than you can imagine, but not more than our Lord and Savior.


The Robbins Family have been giving out candy canes to strangers everywhere from the airport to Walmart, to the Marta station, and beyond in memory of your sweet boy!
You all are in our prayers every day, but especially during this Christmas season.
You should know that although we started out RACKing, in hopes that it would brighten YOUR Christmas at least a little, that it has meant a lot to our family in ways that I can't fully explain, as well!
 
Ray RACKED a lady at the MARTA station by giving her a BREEZE card for a free ride.
I RACKed an elderly neighbor of my uncles by visiting and taking him Christmas cookies. This is such a lovely way to honor your sweet Sawyer's short life here on earth. As much as it makes me sad to have to even think of your loss, it was an honor to participate in this remembrance. 
I hope that reading all of the wonderful acts of kindness that have been done in your sweet babies memory will give you at least a little bit of joy during this Christmas season. You all are so loved and so many people have been blessed by not only knowing you, but by your sharing your story. You have touched so many people with your story, and even more with your deep, everlasting faith. 
The Robbins family left an extra tip to a very sweet waitress whom we happen to know (from a friend), is having a tough time right now....not a huge tip, just a bit extra in memory of Sawyer!
 
Our clinic meets so many more needs than just medical needs of students. Many of our students need snacks, socks, and a change of clothes too. I know that Sawyer's needs would have always been met, so our family wanted to restock the clinic. Christopher Hensley and Jeff shopped and delivered it last week. I know our students will be blessed.
 
PRECIOUS parents of Sawyer,
We are so blessed to know you, to love you and have the privilege to pray for you.
We are honored to be a part of your story and in the RACK experience. I don't know if you'll hear from our recipients, but this is what we did:
Marley and I found our very best Christmas cookie recipe, SOFT GINGER COOKIES. We brought out all the ingredients and started making a BIG mess!!!
We found this great cookie wrapper template from Ann Voskamp's blog that shares a great verse:
“BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON,
AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME “IMMANUEL,”
which translated means, “GOD WITH US.” Matthew 1:23
We delivered these to some special people--a widow down the street, families we've been trying to reach with the Gospel, and some folks who've been especially gracious to us over the years. Marly & Mackenzie and I knocked on doors and sang, "We wish you a Merry Christmas" and handed over the small package with the RACK tag. We were greeted with smiles, hugs and looks of surprise! The widow, who is ~ 80, placed her hands over her heart and shared that no one has ever caroled and made a delivery like that in all her life! She was well-pleased.
We love you, pray for you and truly believe God is Mighty and Faithful and is preparing great things for you.
 
 
I struggled to come up with the perfect random act of Christmas kindness to remember Sawyer; I wanted to do something that was personal. After much thinking, I decided to put bags of popcorn on Redbox kiosks. One of my favorite things to do is to snuggle up with a movie and a bowl of popcorn. It was also one of many things I looked forward to doing with Sawyer- nights of babysitting and introducing him to the wonderful world of movies (mostly boy movies like Toy Story and Cars). I hope that families were able to enjoy popcorn and a movie in memory of Sawyer, and that they were able to read his story.
 
One of the senior special needs employees was so thrilled with the monetary gift in memory of Baby Sawyer. 
 
Hi Ashlyn and Josh!
I wish y'all all the best this Christmas season. I know this is a hard time for you both and we all miss Sawyer so much! I RACK'ed two people and felt so great doing it. First, I surprised one of the residents at the nursing home I worked at by setting up her Christmas tree while she was at lunch. She has no family that comes to visit her so this really made her day, week even! Then I payed for the person behind me in Starbucks on my lunch break. Thank y'all for this opportunity to share Sawyer's story. Love you both!
 
I hate that I was last minute, but I'm so glad Ashlyn reminded me last night.
The first thing I did was take a gift certificate for a one hour massage to Stacy Halstead, little Tripp's mom. They live in our subdivision and I have wanted to do something for her for a while. This seemed like perfect time!
My oldest daughter and I went to Kroger and racked three people. I asked the cashier for cash back and God told me to rack him! I gave him $5 to get a cup of coffee or a treat of some sort. He was shocked! :)
Jessica took $5 to someone in line at Starbucks and she was shocked as well.
We had one more racked card and another $5 bill. Jess and I tried to find someone who looked like they were having a bad day. There was a lady with two girls who had a scowl on her face. I went up to her and she was very hesitant to accept my gift. But she did and had a smile on her face when I walked away. Mission accomplished!
I might have to steal this idea one year in honor of Grady. I love it! Your sweet Sawyer isn't here physically, but he continues to, and always will, touch lives. Can't wait for heaven where we can be together forever and thankful for the One who made that possible.
 
I RACK'ed several different people from cups of hot cocoa, to gift cards, to cookies!
 
I did several RACK's. For the first one we sent two $5 bills in a package in the mail to people who bought things from me. We wrote a note telling them to enjoy a cup if coffee on me!
For the other 2 we gave our photographer and Santa Claus an extra tip and told them to enjoy lunch on us.
We loved doing the RACK and loved sharing Sawyer's story with everyone! 
 
I love doing Random acts of kindness.....
I double tipped my waitress at Olive Garden. I know how hard it is to make money in that business.
The boys and I went to Kroger and out front was a soldier playing a Harmonica next to the Salvation Army donation guy. I had the boys go up and tell the Soldier Thank you for his service and then we went inside to Starbucks and got both guys some holiday coffee.
I let an older lady go in front of me at McDonalds.
We switched our cable service and the poor ATT guy was at our house for about 9 hours so we gave him a gift card to Starbucks with a Christmas Card.
 
 
Monetary gift to homeless man on the way to the airport to pickup my son. Merry Christmas to the Murphy family. May God bless you all.
 
(Sorry this is so late!)  My name is Jamie. I am the checkout receptionist at Pediatric Cardiology Services -aka Dr. Videlefsky's office. I had loved getting  to know and chat with Ashlyn at her appointments. After that I kept close watch by following Sawyer's journey on her blog and on Facebook. I think the RACK idea is an awesome way to remember him and to help Josh & Ashlyn see how many people care about all three of them. ☺️
So, here are my RACKs ....
1-  I had my cards already to hand out, but I just needed to think of what to do. My first thought was that I wanted a Diet Coke from Chick-fil-A, haha. Why thought, "Hey! Why don't i pay for the person behind me in line".  But then I thought about their calendars that they put out each year that has the coupons. I ordered that and my Diet Coke at the drive-through. Once I was at the window I asked the guy to please give the calendar to someone who was kind to him at the window along with Sawyers card. He laughed and said that was a 'first' for him!
2-  I have always wanted to and thought about leaving a gift for our mail carrier. Really don't know anything about her and the holidays always seem so crazy. But with the RACK inspiring me, I decided that this is the year to finally do it!  This morning I left her a bag with some gifts in our mailbox and I handwritten note on the back of the Sawyer card.  I was so excited give her a gift that I'm probably going to do it every year!
Tomorrow's RACK:
My husband works for QuikTrip. He does not have to work on Christmas day, but most people know QT doesn't close... ever.  So, we'll be bringing 3 kinds of baked cookies by the one near our home (and where my husband had worked for about a year before being transferred).  It's a busy location, so I know the workers there will be glad to have something special -- and different than the QT stuff they're all used to.   😉
Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas filled with family time and friends. God bless.

 
 
I woke up in the middle of the night remembering I had forgotten to send in my random acts of kindness. So I couldn't sleep until I did. I hope you all have had a merry Christmas. I am thankful I got to share in it with you from Kentucky! I have heard your story and seen the suffering you have gone through, and your perseverance and steadfastness is so encouraging to me. Thank you for remaining faithful. Here are my random acts.
1. 3 times this Christmas season I bought the persons coffee behind me in the drive through line.
2. We provided our pastors two girls with the means to take dance lessons for the next year. They have been waiting for 3 years to do this but their parents had no way of paying for this. It will be fun to see where it takes them.
Thanks for encouraging random acts of kindness through the holidays! God loves a cheerful giver and it truly is a joy to give to others "randomly." God bless your family in 2014!



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We are blessed.
We are thankful.
We CANNOT wait to do this again next year!

Love, love, love you all,

Ashlyn 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

1 Samuel 1:27

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. (1 Samuel 1:27 NIV)

I haven't posted yet in 2014 yet because I wanted this to be my first post of the new year! 

Josh and I are overwhelmed with excitement but also nervousness after finding out we are expecting our second child. We have prayed for several months that God would again bless our family, with a perfectly healthy baby, and He has answered our prayers. We are praying week by week for our precious baby and that this baby develops perfectly. 

Expecting a baby after losing an infant is a whirlwind of uncharted territory. There is no handbook for this on how we should feel or act, so we are living day by day. This doesn't change my grief, I still miss Sawyer tremendously if not more. I wish he was here to meet his baby brother/sister but he isn't. We won't be buying a double stroller. We don't need to set up a different room for the nursery. I won't have to wonder how I will go from caring for one child to now two. What I will have to worry about is how I can tell this baby about Sawyer. How I can make sure Sawyer is still an active part of our lives. 

Blogging has somewhat enabled me to share our lives with multiple people and allowed me to share Sawyers life before, during, and after birth. I will continue to use this blog to travel through my grief process and this new pregnancy. The doctors will be monitoring me closely until 22 weeks and they can ensure there are no heart defects, or defects of any other sort. After that, I will be "cleared" to have a somewhat normal remainder of the pregnancy. I say somewhat because I imagine the fears associated with this pregnancy won't just dissipate after 22 weeks. 

Josh and I covet your prayers over this pregnancy and baby. Our God is faithful and we know His plan is perfect! We are trusting Him to protect this baby and their development. 



Until next time,
Ashlyn

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15 NIV)

PS - Random Acts of Kindness results blog is almost finished, I have been kind of busy keeping a secret :)

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

A New Year Already?

2014. Is it really almost 2014? 

Many people probably thing I am ready to give 2013 the boot and move in to a 'better year', but that isn't necessarily how I feel. 2013 was undoubtedly the worst and the best year of my life. So many expectations that never came to fruition, and so many unexpected blessings. 

This year, 2013, is the only year that Sawyer knew and the only year he will have ever known. His whole entire, though it short, life was lived in 2013. Moving on to 2014 scares me in a sense. I am not ready for it to be a different year. I am not ready for it to be a year Sawyer was never a part of. I don't want to start saying that my baby died "last year". Although 2013 was literally a living hell, I am not ready to see it go. 2013 is Sawyer's year, and it always will be to me. The year started out, literally within a few days in to January, on the emotional roller coaster we are still currently on today. January 3 was the day we received the news that something was wrong, and it never got better from there. 

While it is easy to see all of the bad, because let's face it, there was a lot - I want to focus on the things that this year has given me and be thankful for those. I am going in to 2014 with no expectations, because to be honest I am tired of being disappointed. 

2013:

1. Sawyer - I could go on and on about Sawyer, but I don't have to do that. Just know anything and everything about this little boy is the best thing that happened this year, and losing him was the worst.

2. My relationship with Christ has taken a positive turn. While it isn't always great, and I still struggle with bitterness, my relationship with Him has given me a new sense of strength and peace. 

3. My wonderful husband, Josh. We have experienced more this year together than most will in a lifetime. Our relationship is stronger than most, and for that I am thankful. When God brought us together six years ago, He definitely knew what He was doing. 

4. Our new house - it is crazy to think we are actually homeowners. When did I become old enough for this?! I love our house and all the crazy animals that fill it up. 

5. My new job as a teacher. This job is a blessing for my heart. The students and other teachers have been such an encouragement to my spirit and I love my job!

6. My family - this year has brought my closer to my immediate family, and Josh's as well, closer than I really thought was ever possible. They haven't made us "forget", instead they help us remember. 

7. Friendships - people come and go, and I am thankful for the friends that have stuck it out with us through this year and also the new ones we have made through this journey. 

8. My support group - wow, what a blessing. I hate our circumstances but I am so glad to know them all. It is nice to be able to go to a group and just let all your feelings out with no judgment, because they totally understand.

9. GA Christian Mom Group - yet another blessing. Wow, what a great group of ladies! They have surrounded me with love and support and prayers throughout this whole year and I couldn't be more thankful. They all mean more to me than I have probably ever told them. 

10. Our (second) dog, Boone! When we got married we adopted our first dog, Dixie. She is a Australian Shepherd/Husky mix and crazy as ever! When Sawyer passed away we went to the shelter to just "look" and saw a brindle colored Shepherd/Lab mix that was almost out of time. He was so sweet we just couldn't leave without him - and he is the most well-behaved dog! 

11. Charleston - this place has brought us more peace, comfort, and relaxation than we ever thought possible. We went to Charleston after Sawyer passed away, and are ringing in the New Year there as well. 

12. Church family - our church family has been a support and we couldn't be more thankful for that. 

13. Children's Healthcare of Atlanta - the doctors and nurses here fought just as hard as we could have wanted them to in order to save Sawyer's life. I am thankful for all of them and their dedication to not only Sawyer, but all of the babies and children at the hospital.

14. Doctors - all of them; My doctors and Sawyers doctors. Dr. Pohl, Dr. Videlfsky, the doctors at Maternal-Fetal specialists, the surgeons; Dr. Alsoufi, Dr. Kanter, and Dr. Kogan, the nurses that took care of my and Sawyer at any point, the doctors in Cincinnati. Without them we probably wouldn't have had 18 days with Sawyer. 

15. Health Insurance- because no one can afford over 1 million in bills. Literally 18 days in the hospital and the bills topped 1 million and more. 

16. Neighbors - Josh and I have been blessed with the best neighbors anyone could ask for in their life. From the neighbor that helped us get a better home loan, to the neighbors that call and check on us when our car hasn't moved from the driveway in a couple of days. 

17. Gwinnett Memorial Gardens - this is where Sawyer is buried. The people who own the Memorial Gardens are great and so nice. I usually stop in to say hello when I go to visit Sawyer. 

18. Memories - this year gave me a lot of them and for that I am thankful. 2013 is a year I most certainly won't forget both in a good way and a bad way. 

[Any one catch what I did there with the number 18?]

I enter 2014 with a cautious heart, cherishing all the moments and working toward fully trusting the plan The Lord has already written in my "book". I don't know what this new year holds, but I do know what it will be missing. I can't say it will be a better year, but good grief certainly it is only up from the living hell this last year has been. I will be honest though, I don't really view this New Year as a "fresh start" because it isn't. What happened this year isn't something that will go away when we start writing 2014 on our checks instead of 2013, it something that we will live with forever and we will forever be different people. 

Wishing you a Happy New Year where you can rest in the fact that God is in control and He does have a plan for your life even though it may not be clear currently. It isn't easy facing struggles, but you don't have to enter this new year alone. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 

Until next year,

Ashlyn 

Monday, December 30, 2013

Christmas 2013

I survived! I made it through the first Christmas without my baby.

The biggest part of my survival through these 'firsts' holidays have been my friends and family. They continually remind me of the strength (of which I sometimes don't even see) I have been displaying through these months. I know I owe much of my strength to Christ because the truth is I wouldn't be where I am today without His love and strength to hold me up when I have felt at my weakest. 

I woke up Christmas morning not really knowing what to expect. I didn't know how I was going to feel, or really how I should feel about the day. The truth of the matter is - there are no guidelines on grief and I have to work through it on my own. I can't be afraid of what people may think or how others might do it because in all reality until someone has walked in my shoes, they have NO idea. I think through the holidays and trying to focus my energy on getting through, I have actually come out of some rut I was stuck in. 

I only cried a few times on Christmas, which is much better than I was expecting. I really thought I would be a hot mess all day. I teared up reading through the RACK emails, cried when I woke up, and cried about halfway through our Christmas run-around. I realized that no matter how sad I was and no matter how much my heart longed to have Sawyer with us, Christmas was just not going to be what I had planned for last Christmas. I chose to spend time with family and be thankful for my large, close-knit family.

Here are a few pictures from the day for you to enjoy (and also for me to have as a part of the blog book I will print at the end of the year!).

 
Our tree (and some of my favorite ornaments)

Sawyer's stocking is the monkey riding the giraffe, I love it!


Our day started with the RACK cards!

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Over 50 cards (and each had more than one RACK!)
   



Josh and I were blown away by the participation in this and really want to make it an annual event every Christmas! It will be so special to be able to share in this with our future children :)

Here is a video where I read some of the RACK's and I am working on the final RACK post that includes all of the RACK's!

Christmas Morning RACK Video! 

We continued our day by spending time with family, the thing I love the most about Christmas. We just wish all of our family was with us.


Snuggles with Luke

Mimi and Emma reading to Sawyer Bear :)

Annual cousin picture, where no one looks the right way!





Ended the night with Sawyer.

I love this picture :)

Sawyer's Aunt Dana got him a present!

Love this book :)

I received a lot of gifts this year that revolved around Sawyer. I love them all, and this one really touched my heart. My cousin asked me for a profile picture of Sawyer, and this is what I opened on Christmas Eve at my grandmothers house!


We also made these ornaments for our family. We had a mold of Sawyer's foot made the night he passed away and I had this idea while trying to think of something special for our families.


 To finish off our Christmas, here is a picture of our family. It isn't the picture I wanted to take this Christmas, but this is my family this Christmas. I am thankful for my friends and family who walked along side Josh and I through the days leading up to Christmas. I wish Sawyer was here physically, but I know he lives on through Josh and I in our daily lives.

 

Until next time,
Ashlyn

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Christmas Eve

I can't say I have been looking forward to Christmas Eve, because the truth is I would have liked to just skip these last few weeks. 

I have, however, been doing okay. As we get ready to participate in all of the family gatherings that are a tradition, I know I will have my share of tears, and that is okay. I have a wonderful family who will support us and cry with us. There isn't a member of our family who doesn't miss Sawyer through these holidays. 

I look back over the last few weeks and thank God for allowing me to bless and be blessed. Through my church I was able to plan a dinner and child sponsorship for Christmas gifts. I met with the moms before giving them the gifts our church family had purchased to try and give them some ray of hope. Until this year, I never realized that people could hurt this bad through the holidays. I told these moms we know they are hurting, but so does God. Just as He has never left my side, He hasn't left theirs either. I know everyone involved with this dinner and child sponsorship left that night with a full heart and a reminder God is good! 

I have also done my fair share of "Random Acts of Christmas Kindness". I'm always nervous walking up to random people, but I never leave feeling as if I have made a mistake. I leave with a smile on my face, as do they, and a full heart. I can't wait to share what people have done and what I was able to do with you. I really think God, no I KNOW that God used this as a way to bring me some joy through these extremely tiring, emotionally draining, and just painful days. 

I have also been reminded that Sawyer has not been forgotten. I see him everywhere in everything, but the way others have reached out through these holidays is a blessing to my heart. I have received gifts from people because they reminded them of Sawyer and it gets me every time!

This time of year has always been exciting for me. I have never had anything to rock my world, until now. Everyone is excited about who is getting what and making their Christmas lists. Unfortunately the one thing I want this a Christmas is something I can't have. Another unfortunate thing - this is the case for a lot more people than you may be aware of right now. My support group met last night and I was just reminded that I am not alone in this pain through he holidays. I wish I was. I wish no one else had to experience this, but they do. I hate the circumstances under which I have met these ladies, but I am oh so thankful for them. 

One of them said something to me last night that really helped me through the struggle of "how to survive Christmas" (there is no handbook, trust me I have looked). Her words spoke so much truth. When Jesus was born, he was born in a manger in a dirty stinky barn with animals. When we were born, most of us were welcome in to a nice clean hospital. This was not the case for our Savior, the One who came to save us all. Mary and Joseph couldn't even get a room at a hotel. Through His birth in a dirty barn, His life of a perfect example for us, and His death of being beaten and nailed to a cross, we are given the reassurance of eternal life. Through His birth and His death, I have the comfort that Sawyer was welcomed to Heaven with open arms and that I, too, will be reunited with my Savior and my baby again. Thank you God for sending your son, to a dirty barn and to die on a cross, to save me from my sins and so that both my son and I will have eternal life with You!

"Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many" Matthew 28:20

As you go throughout your day, remember those who are hurting for a numerous amount of reasons. If you are hurting today, know you aren't alone. Your life may not be perfect right now, but through Christ's birth, and death, there is a perfect eternity waiting for you! If nothing else, thank God for the birth of the Savior who came to save us all - the real meaning of this Christmas season. Through my tears, I will be thankful. 

Until next time,
Ashlyn

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Sawyer's Story

Hi!

I am sure you have stumbled upon my blog because you were a recipient of a "Random Act of Christmas Kindness" in memory of my sweet baby, Sawyer and this makes my heart happy! 

After some thought about how to 'survive' this first Christmas without our son, my husband and I decided we wanted to do something to benefit the community and share Sawyer's story and how the Lord has really been working through our lives. I wish I could take credit for the idea of RACK, but it has been around for quite some time. I am, though, VERY excited at the potentially large amount of people that will be blessed in memory of Sawyer. I am not sure what you may be facing this Christmas season, but I can assure you that God has not forgotten you in your time of struggle or even your time of gratitude. He has been and will be with you every step of the way, just as He has been with us.

My name is Ashlyn and my husband is Josh. We have been married almost two years and have one child, Sawyer. Unfortunately Sawyer was born with a congenital heart defect and was only with us for 18 days before he went to be with his Heavenly Father. Here is Sawyer's story.

Sawyer was born May 9, 2013 at 12:09 AM. I was in labor for 24 hours before it was decided I would need a c-section. He was an even 8 pounds and 21 3/4 inches long! We knew throughout the pregnancy that Sawyer would need to be evaluated immediately after birth, so unfortunately I was unable to hold him after he was born. During the pregnancy we were told that there was a chance he would be able to come home before needing surgery, but unfortunately this was not the case. He was taken directly to the NICU and was intubated in order to breath better. Our pediatric cardiologist did an ECHO and found that the condition discovered during pregnancy was very severe. Within twelve hours of Sawyer being born he was transferred to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta at Egleston. Luckily I was able to hold him before he was whisked away to another hospital. The next 36 hours were a struggle because I wanted to be with my baby, but I was stuck in a hospital bed recovering from the c-section. 

Sawyer's heart condition is known as Tetralogy of Fallot with Absent Pulmonary Valve Syndrome. It is basically five different defects all combined in to one. The defect caused his pulmonary artery to be enlarged and press on his lungs. You can read more about the condition here.

Once I was released from the hospital my husband and I traveled to Atlanta so I could see my baby! My grandparents graciously paid for a hotel room for us in Atlanta so that we would be closer to the hospital. I hated leaving him at night, but I was so thankful we were so close. For the first week the doctors tried to extubate him and allow him to breath on his own but unfortunately he was not able to because of how his pulmonary artery was pressing on his lungs. They knew that he would require surgery and it was finally decided that at 13 days old on May 22, he would have surgery to close the hole in his heart and also reduce the size of that pulmonary artery. He was scheduled for surgery that morning and it was going to be a 4-5 hour surgery. The surgeon came to get Josh and I after the surgery was over to let us know how things had gone. During the surgery Sawyer had struggled and the surgeon was worried. They finally got him stable and planned to move him back to the ICU, where he had been since day 1. We wouldn't be able to see him for an hour or two and we had not really eaten all day so we left to grab a bite to eat 5 minutes up the road. We had not made it to a parking space before they were calling us and telling us to come back, QUICK.

Once we arrived back at the hospital (after running almost every red light it feels like), we were told that Sawyer had coded for about 4 minutes and was being put on ECMO (life support). I crumbled when I heard the news because usually the prognosis for babies on ECMO is not good, at least from what I had seen through our time at the hospital. Through the next five days Sawyer fought hard and so did we. Our families surrounded us with love and support and prayers for whatever the outcome would be. On May 27, 2013 Sawyer had been on ECMO for 5 days. He had started having seizures, his blood loss through his chest tubes was increasing, and he had a blood infection. They were weary that giving him a coagulant would clog the ECMO machine and we would have no choice but to stop the machine so they waited until the last minute. Once giving him this medicine they saw he was using it to stay alive and it was doing nothing to stop the bleeding. We knew it was time to make the terrible decision to let our baby slip in to the arms of Jesus.

Losing Sawyer and these months that have followed have been the hardest days that Josh and I have gone through. No parents should ever have to bury their baby, ever. I have to be honest and say that it was hard to trust God's plan through all of this. Little by little and day by day I have seen parts of His plan revealed and the way Sawyer's story is touching people that I do not even know, and probably never will. My heartache is still very real, especially through the holiday season, but the strength and love of my Savior is even more real. 

Christmas is a time when everyone is upbeat and bright and excited about Christmas morning with their children. I want to be excited about that, but it is obvious to see why Christmas is such a devastating time for our family. When everyone is asking us what we really want for Christmas, the honest answer is something that no one can give us. We really just want Sawyer here with us.

I had to take a step back from my sadness and try to think of something that would really share the love of Christ this Christmas. Because in all reality, Jesus Christ IS the reason for this season. We are celebrating His birth and without Jesus there is no Christmas. Without the birth of our Savior we wouldn't have the promise that we will one day see Sawyer again. Through our journey, though we feel weak, we know that our strength is from Christ alone. He has held us up and shown us His love in our darkest days. Christmas is not easy for everyone, whether they have lost a loved one, lost their job, or some other tragic event. My Random Acts of Christmas Kindness was designed to share Sawyer's story and how Christ has really been working through it and us to show love to those around us. Sawyer wouldn't want us to mope around, especially when the reason for the season is the One who healed our precious boy and is caring for him until we are reunited again! 

My husband and I are praying for your family, whatever you may be facing this Christmas. We hope that this RACK you received brightened your day, and made this season a little bit easier. Know that you are not alone. The verse that has sustained us through this time has been Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you may go." He IS with you, WHEREVER you go!

May you have a blessed Christmas!

Love,
Ashlyn
(Sawyer's Momma)

You can read through the rest of my posts over on the right side!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Random Acts of Christmas Kindness

It is no surprise I have been struggling with the holidays and how to handle them emotionally. When asked how Thanksgiving was this year, I generally replied with "I survived." Because in all honesty, that is the truth. Now November is behind us and December has started full swing, whether I am ready or not. Truth be told, again, I am not ready. I am not ready for Christmas music, decorating, or the hustle and bustle of shopping for Christmas presents. 

With all of that being said, I have an idea that may make Christmas a little easier to handle without Sawyer here. I know that nothing will change the fact that we will be waking up on Christmas morning to the sound of silence , but I am hoping this lifts the burden of pain a little bit. 

My idea: Random Acts of Christmas Kindness, in memory of Sawyer.

I have done a lot of research on how to survive the first year after losing a baby. I ran across a blog in which a mother encouraged other moms who have lost babies to share how they 'survived' Christmas, in hopes of encouraging others who are just at a loss, like me. One of the stories came from a mother who lost her son, Noah when he was 5 1/2 months old. The first Christmas they didn't do anything but try to make it through, but the second Christmas she came up with the Random Acts of Christmas Kindness (RACK) idea. She encouraged her friends and family to do things in her son's memory and then email them to her. She promised not to read them, and simply printed them out and placed them in his stocking to read Christmas morning. 

I think this is a great idea! People will be sharing Sawyer's story (and the way God has been working) and we will wake up to a stocking FULL, hopefully, of envelopes to open on Christmas morning. It won't change the fact that I really wish I had Sawyer here this coming Christmas morning, but it will help my hurting heart that people have been making the world a little bit brighter in his memory! Some people may say that this isn't random since people know it is in memory of Sawyer, but I think it is. These people will be random strangers and will totally be surprised!

So, here is the plan for all willing to participate:

1. I have created this 'card' for you to give to whoever you decide to randomly bless. You can print this out and take them with you when you go out and about.


2. Once you have "RACK'ed" someone, send an email to rememberingSawyer@gmail.com. I am going to have my mom print these off and seal them in envelopes, that way we won't know what has been done until Christmas morning!

3. Check back the week after Christmas for the stories of how God is working through the Random Acts of Christmas Kindness, I am sure there will be lots!


I am working on making mine cute :)

Need ideas? (Make sure to hand out the card!)
 - Pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru line.
 - Tape quarters to a vending machine.
 - Take breakfast to your local firehouse.
 - Donate canned goods to a local food bank.
 - Donate food/newspaper/towels to your local animal shelter.
 - Take your neighbors trash can back up their driveway.
 - Give an 'extra' tip at the restaurant.
 - Buy a co-worker their favorite cup of coffee.
 - Leave treats on your neighbors porches.
 - Leave flowers on someone's car in the parking lot.
 - Take the 'mall Santa' a Starbuck's gift card.
 - Leave a gas gift-card on a car.
 - Send a gift to your child's teacher.
 - Leave money in a book at the library.
 - Donate to your local children's hospital.
 - Leave dollars in the kids section at the dollar store.
 - Leave a free promo code on a redbox machine.
 - Make a cup of hot chocolate for your mailman.

Do you have some ideas? Be sure to leave them in the comments for others!

I have given a list of 18 ideas to represent the 18 days we had with Sawyer. You can do one, or all of them, however you feel led. I am hoping that the response to this will be overwhelming and Sawyer's stocking will be overflowing Christmas morning. Things like this always make my heart happy, and I know it is a blessing to the recipient. 

I have some printed out and ready to go! If you have any questions, or need some printed for you PLEASE let me know! Don't forget to share and email us :) Take a picture if you can! I am also working on a blog post detailing Sawyer's story so that those who visit our blog will be able to read it in one post.

Josh and I are SO excited about this and I know God is going to be working through us and all of you these next few weeks. I cannot wait for my blog post after Christmas!


With love,
Ashlyn